CSWA PRIMETIME in Atlanta
27 Jan 2013 at Philips Arena
(The CSWA's original red-and-white "circle" logo appears, then breaks apart into various copmany logos over history. As the logos fade in and out, so do the phrases:
A Legacy Unmatched.
(CUEUP: "I'm Alive" by Jeremy Camp)
(CUTTO: A wideshot of the lower level of Philips Arena in Atlanta, GA. The shot avoids the upper deck and concentrates on the filled up camera-side in the large arena. Another shot shows our first look at the new CSWAvision LCD monstrosity that is filled with the red-and-white star logo. BILL BUCKLEY and JOEY MELTON walk down the rampway as pyro and spotlights swirl around the stage. The extended introduction continues to flip from camera to camera showing as many fans as possible and showing Buckley and Melton interacting with the fans as they make their way to ringside.)
(CUTTO: A Rhubarb Jones-narrated open highlights the return of PRIMETIME to television and runs down the matches for the evening, as well as showing a quick scene from the end of BLUE MOON as BLAINE HOLLYWOOD attacks UNIFIED Champion Dan Ryan and Troy Windham and hypes that we'll hear from Hollywood for the first time since the vicious attack.)
(CUTTO: Bill Buckley and Joey Melton, now at their ringside table, are settled and ready. Well, Joey seems to be distracted by his headset.)
BILL BUCKLEY: HELLO WRESTLING FANS! No, you're eyes aren't deceiving you, CSWA PRIMETIME is back and LIVE here in Atlanta, Georgia! I am Bill Buckley, and my partner is former CSWA World Champion...
JOEY MELTON: The first...
BB: Former UNIFIED World Champion...
JM: The best...
BB: And now...
JM: And now the best commentator the CSWA has ever seen. I'm conquering new worlds, Bill. I'm a triple threat: wrestler, commentator, lover.
BB: It may be a new record...
JM: You heard about that?
BB: No... a record for my announcing partner to be completely inappropriate during the broadcast.
JM: That's what I do, Bill. I set records.
BB: And speaking of setting records, tonight promises to set the bar. We've got wrestlers debuting in the new CSWA, the Unified Tag Team Tournament continues, and we know Blaine Hollywood is on his way to the building to explain his actions at the end of CSWA's BLUE MOON event.
JM: What's to explain? He jacked Ryan, he suffocated Troy Windham -- haven't we all felt like it doing both at some point?
(CUEUP: "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen)
BB: Saved by the intro music...
JM: Who is this? I like him already, just from his music.
(CUTTO: It’s a crisp fall afternoon in Atlanta, but within the concrete corridors of Phillips Arena, it’s pretty warm. In the craft services area for CSWA PRIMETIME, the body heat alone is raising the temperature several degrees. The first PRIMETIME since the Hacker debacle goes live in just under three hours, and everyone in the current, slimmed-down CSWA is sitting at tables or lining the walls.
Well, almost everyone. There’s no sign of Blaine Hollywood or Troy Windham. But if you were a fan scanning the room, you would see UNIFIED Champ Dan Ryan leaning against the wall not far from the CSWA’s technical guru Marvin Parsons. Referee Pee Wee Troutman seems to be carbo-loading from the buffet, sitting at the same table as Cameron Cruise. Scott Riktor, sans bear suit, is sitting at a table looking supremely bored as Justin Voss chatters on in his ear. The rest of the CSWA talent and crew is sitting around, half of them staring at a table in the front where Poison Ivy and Teri Melton are sitting. Most of the guys in the room have a look in their eyes that hopes for the catfight of all catfights. Oddly enough, Teri and Ivy seem to be chatting amiably.
Boogie Smallz steps into the room late, along with his new Urban Legends tag team partner Malcolm Joseph-Jones. High Flyer grins and waves.
The crowd is starting to get antsy. They’re waiting for the new owner to show up and talk about where things are going. Some in the room have contracts that they thought they were signing with Merritt; others are working on a per-date basis. Not knowing who the new owner is, no one is really clear about what their long-term status is.
One final CSWA talent steps into the room. Hornet catches a few eyes.)
Cameron Cruise: Who’s the jackhole that’s making us wait around?
Hornet: What, you’re gonna blame me for that too? Like everything else in your life?
(Before Cruise can respond, Hornet steps into an empty space between the catering tables and the front table where Ivy and Teri are sitting. He seems a little jumpy, uncharacteristic for the former UNIFIED World Champion. He looks at Ivy for a second, then looks up at Dan Ryan across the room. He looks down, grins, then looks up at the captive audience.)
HORNET: So, I’ve been asked to make an announcement. The CSWA is no longer part of CS Enterprises. It’s no longer part of a public company. It was spun off, bought and made private.
And I’m the owner. (The crowd is dead quiet, waiting to see if this is a work or not.)
Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s nothing new. Craig Miles, and even our own Dan Ryan here in the room, have done it before. Dan is one of the few people who knew about this in the last few days because I needed to ask his advice on how to make this work.
So what does this mean? Well, the first thing it means is no more of this “ownership struggle” bull. Merritt and Thomas are out and we’re on our own. And my pockets aren’t unlimited, so that means that we don’t have the benefit of the doubt anymore with arenas and TV. The good news is that the new deal with ESEN is a solid one, although less lucrative than the old TV deals. We also have a perpetual lease to Merritt Auditorium and will base our offices there.
It also means that I won’t be in a CSWA ring anymore. Which means that Dan Ryan’s big gold belt over there is a little safer tonight – he just has to worry about all the rest of you. (Hornet laughs.)
And… it means that things are going to have to work a little differently. Ivy and Teri have agreed to be a part of a smaller management team, with Ivy heading up talent, and overseeing production, , Teri in charge of operations, along with Marvin in the truck and Brian in charge of the road agents.
But the buck stops here. I once walked around here saying, “It’s nothing personal, it’s just business.” And that’s mostly true here, unless you decide to make your job pissing me off. Honestly, I could care less about how “difficult” you are to work with as long as you’re working hard to do something different, draw a crowd and respect our business.
Because in the end, that’s what it has to be, our business. Sammy Benson tried to take over this place because he felt like he hadn’t been given his due. Well let’s make it real clear – Sammy Benson deserves his due, just like a lot of folks that have been around here from the beginning. Bill Buckley, Marvin Parsons, Joey Melton, Mark Windham and Marsha. And there are plenty of others who have given an immense amount to make this place work – Ivy, Troy, Dan, Cam, Boog, the list goes on and on. But the fact is that Sammy played us all and he made it all about him, and it took away the CSWA.
No one man is bigger than this place. Not Merritt, not Thomas, not Benson, and certainly not HORNET WINS. The CSWA is a structure that we’ve all added to with our will, our heart, our blood, our sweat and our pain. Whether it’s for the glory, or the competition, or the fans or our commitment to each other – for whatever reason people have come here and they’ve been made better. And in turn, they’ve made the legacy of this place better.
Those fans are out there tonight because they remember. And tonight, we’re going to show them that the CSWA isn’t a thing of the past, it’s an ongoing legacy. And just like they remember watching Hornet vs. Mark Windham or Eli Flair vs. Troy Windham, tonight they’re going to remember where they were when they saw the future tag team champions or sparks between Dan Ryan and Blaine Hollywood.
Tonight, you earn your name. Some of you are new and some of you have been around this block before. But tonight you’re all CSWA…
(A little more than half the crowd starts clapping, and then others join in, but not all.)
We’ve got a show to do. I’ll be in the office. Ivy will be at gorilla. If you’ve got a match, check in with Devil (that’s Brian for you newbies) for the order and timing. Good show.
(Hornet heads down the hallway while most of those seated get up and start breaking off into conversations or head off to the locker room.)
(CUTTO: BERNIE COX comes out from behind the curtain to a small pop from the fans and works his way down the ramp slapping hands trying to pump up the crowd. The house lights flash and the music hits its stride as he slides into the ring and takes to the nearest turnbuckle.)
BB: Two CSWA newcomers are about to showcase their skills right here on PRIMETIME! Bernie Cox is a brawling wrestler who certainly wants to make his mark known tonight!
JM: Who cares! Just get the show over with!
(CUEUP: "Love Child" by Accept fires over the sound system as "Top Notch" Terry Turner comes out on the entrance way. Donning his usual ring attire, surfboard shorts and a t-shirt, he slaps hands with the fans stopping to take a photo with one or two on his way to the ring. Terry uses the stairs to enter the ring and climbs the turnbuckle removing his shirt and tossing it to the crowd)
BB: Terry Turner made an appearance on Blue Moon's red carpet before the show got started!
JM: Yeah, he was high.
BB: Well...no one knows that, we didn't see him use drugs.
JM: Yeah, he has cat allergies -- that's why his eyes were so red. Get a clue!
BB: Top Notch and the self proclaimed Master of the Mullet slap hands as a sign of respect
BB: Top Notch circling and trying to get inside of Bernie Cox
JM: Is he really?! This is a family show!
BB: Oh would you stop! You know exactly what I mean! Cox looking to tie up quickly, Top Notch ducking under, quick drop toe hold to a side headlock by Terry Turner!
JM: I bet Turner can't handle Cox.
BB: He seems to be doing well so far, Joey!
JM: You would know wouldn't ya!
BB: Careful Joey – all sorts of responses involving tea come to mind when we start talking about you and Cox. Cox up to his knees, Turner cranking...back body drop from Cox! Quick cover! 1......! Kick out from Top Notch! Cox with a midsection kick, he picks up Top Notch, irish whip to the ropes, Turner on the rebound, shoulder block form Bernie Cox! Turner down, pops back up, runs to the ropes, on his return...ANOTHER SHOULDER BLOCK FROM COX!
JM: Yeah rookie! Fail once, do it again! IDIOT!
BB: Turner back to his feet, of the ropes again, diving shoulder block from Turner! Cox is down turner off the ropes a fourth time, Cox getting up...front drop kick from Terry Turner! Top Notch walking around waving his hands in the air trying to get this crowd behind him!
JM: Not gonna help ya kid!
BB: Cox on his feet, coming behind Turner the fans warning him, Turner turns around, arm drag! Top Notch has an arm bar, Cox rolling to his feet and a punch to the mid section, ANOTHER! AND A THIRD! Top Notch doubled-over! Vertical suplex from Bernie Cox!
JM: I feel like we are wasting valuable airtime here.
BB: Well I can't think of anything better than watching a great match up with two new young stars.
JM: How about a commercial for my new line of hair care products?
BB: Bernie picking Top Notch up, head butt! Top Notch into the turnbuckle and Cox throws Turner's arms over the ropes...
BB: And a big chop from Bernie Cox and the crowd loves it! AND ANOTHER! The Charlotte crowd is “WOOing” up a storm.
JM: Because I taught them well, Bill.
BB: Turner wincing in pain as Cox sets him up on the top rope!
JM: This never ends well.
BB: Turner firing back some shots, Cox trying to throw punches to the mid section but isn't reach...SWINGING DDT FROM TERRY TURNER FROM the TOP ROPE!!!! HERE'S THE COUNT!
THRE----NO! Shoulder up from Bernie Cox!
JM: Yeah 'cause how lame would he be if he went down from a DDT. Wimps.
BB: Turner getting back slowly as Cox is crawling his way to the ropes for support. Turner On his feet, here he comes charging towards Bernie Cox....COX WITH A SHARP UPPERCUT TO THE STOMACH OF TURNER! Cox getting to his feet....KNEE SMASH THAT SENDS TURNER TO THE CANVASS!
JM: Dear God let this torture stop! Ring the bell for Christ sake! These strokes. I would have ended this decades ago. Poke his eye or something!
BB: The fans are enjoying it Joey! Cox picking Turner up, forearm to the face! And another! Turner in the ropes, Irish whip...BIG SIDEWALK SLAM FROM BERNIE COX!
NO! Turner with a shoulder up! And Cox rolls up, bounces off the ropes...RUNNING KNEE DROP FROM COX!
JM: That's all she wrote folks!
THRE----NO! Turner with another shoulder up!
JM: Can I get a popcorn please?!
BB: Cox looking at the referee and getting back up with out saying anything. He has Turner up, he's calling for another sidewalk slam...Irish whip to the ropes, Top Notch on the return...ANOTHER BIG SIDEWAL----
NO! TURNER REVERSING INTO A HEADSCISSORS SINGLE ARM DDT!!!! THAT'S THE RIP CURRENT LADIES AND GENTS!!!!!
Turner crawling over for the cover!
SFX: Ding, ding!
(CUE UP: “Love Child” By Accept)
BB: Wow! What a turn around by Terry “Top Notch” Turner! A swift move turned around what certainly seemed like Bernie Cox's match up!
JM: I see what you did there. Myself, I am sure we will see more of Cox.
BB: I'm positive of it!
JM: I bet you are....
BB: Wait a second… We will be right back with more PRIMETIME!
(CUTTO: CSWA PRIMETIME returns from commercial, with CSWA interviewer and the man once known as the "Hooded Falcon," Rudy Seitzer, in the ring.)
RUDY SEITZER: Ladies and Gentlemen, at this time I would like to introduce to you the man who was the last wrestler to hold the Greensboro Championship, KEVIN WATSON!
(CUEUP: “Outlaw Sh*t” by Waylon Jennings.)
(Kevin Watson emerges from the backstage area onto the rampway. Same dusty black hooded sweatshirt, worse for wear jeans and well broken in boots that we've seen in the past. The CSWA Greensboro title clutched in his right hand haphazardly by the snaps. The opposite end skips along the ground periodically as he lumbers to the ring. He flings the belt over the top rope and into the ring.)
RS: Hey … (Rudy spooks a bit as the belt lands a few feet from his feet. Kevin rolls into the ring and meets Seitzer in the middle.)
RS: Well, interesting entrance aside …. let me begin by welcoming you back, once again ... to the CSWA, Kevin. This has become somewhat of a familiar feeling for you, I would wager.
KEVIN WATSON: Hasn’t it for everyone?
(Rudy shakes off Kevin’s reply with a bit of a chuckle and continues.)
RS: I guess you could say that. It’s got to feel good to return this time as a former champion and in top contendership for the new Greensboro title, I’d imagine.
KW: Yeah, Rudy. It feels great to carry around a strap for nearly three years only to find out it’s not only defunct but it’s been replaced. Every time the doors swing open; I come running back and give it my all for some front office coup or legal proceeding to slam them shut again. Call me bitter but I’m over it.
RS: Well, as I’m sure you know by now, the CSWA has a new owner who says the days of the "power struggles" we all endured for so long are indeed over.
KW: Yeah, I heard the speech from our new "boss," HORNET. I’ll believe it when I see it. At the moment, I expect more of the same around here... except monetarily.
RS: On the next episode of CSWA PRIMETIME you have a great opportunity to become the Greensboro Champion, facing Cameron Cruise in an...
KW: An opportunity to take what is already mine? Fantastic. Look I’m not ungrateful and I’m not saying I’m going to go down without a fight but as far as the CSWA and I go; the thrill is gone. I’m going to strap on these boots and slide in a ring every night whether it’s got that logo scrawled across it’s canvas or not. This is the path I choose, so it’s the one I’ll walk.
RS: Kevin, you and I go back a little ways, so I feel comfortable speaking frankly when I say; you are normally the biggest obstacle in your own path, son.
KW: I won’t refute that.
RS: You came to the CSWA once you had been a professional wrestler for three years -- you got a great opportunity and then promptly got yourself fired before your fourth year.
RS: In your earlier days, your wrestling brother Nemesis and yourself burned every bridge you crossed. Once he lost it and you both got your walking papers, you hadn’t left your self many options.
KW: Again, all true. Look, I’m not here begging for a pity party. I don’t need anyone’s empathy. When it all fell down; I did what I had to do and crawled back to the independent circuit. I can and have been making a living there. Before and after the Gold Rush where I won the Greensboro Title, before and after the ULTRATITLE, and before and eventually after … this incarnation of the CSWA folds up like a wet cardboard box. I’m not asking anyone for anything, so don’t ask me to come out here all smiles, spouting off cliches about how bad I want it and how happy I am to see the CSWA return. I’m here as long as the checks clear and I’m able bodied enough to compete.
(Kevin picks up the old Greensboro title from the mat and throws it over his shoulder.)
KW: This has been my greatest achievement in my fifteen years in this business. This title in the largest promotion in the world. Not bad for an uneducated orphan, right? Right. So, I can live with that. I’ve made my peace with my place in this business and in this world. I lost my penchant for the dramatic a long time ago. I’ve been humbled by life. I don’t have the egomaniacal personality of a Troy Windham or a Dan Ryan. I don’t thrive off standing in this ring shooting my mouth off more than I wrestle. I don’t play well enough with others enough to tag and take a back route to an over publicised and under wrestled shot at the UNIFIED. Hell, I don’t even give a good interview … I wrestle! And in this business … in this day; thats not the only prerequisite to rise to the top. I’m a career worker. Lifelong mid-carder. I’ve accepted that. So, I apologize if my attitude isn’t quite up to snuff for your and anyone elses’ liking, Rudy. If the shot is offered, I’ll take it. Any man, anywhere, anytime. If I got to take my belt twice to call myself the Greensboro Champion; so be it. My illusions of grandeur disappeared with my brothers and their half cocked schemes of takeovers and invasions. I stand alone and have come to grips with the simple fact that I have always loved this sport more than it has ever loved me. But I will finish the game.
(Kevin backs away from Rudy and hits the mat. He rolls out and drags the old Greensboro title behind him.)
BB: Well, that’s an... interesting ... insight into the career and returning outlook of former Greensboro Champion, Kevin Watson.
JM: Yeah, interesting … that’s one word for it. Another one might be a name I've been called a few times over the years...
BB: Don't say it! Kevin Watson will face off against Cameron Cruise on our next PRIMETIME live in Richmond. After this break, we'll be back with the return of Marcus Johnson! Keep it here on ESEN!
(FADEIN: Backstage where we find "The Hero" Marcus Johnson standing before a CSWA backdrop. Marcus used to have long blonde hair, but he has cut it short now. He is dressed in a pair of navy blue tights with the word "HERO" down the sides in yellow lettering, along with navy blue wrestling boots. He also wears a white vest.]
RHUBARB JONES: This contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring at this time... Brian "Bobcat" Brunzell!
(CUE UP: "Hero" by Chad Kroeger and Josey Scott. "THE HERO" MARCUS JOHNSON steps onto the ramp to polite applause.]
RJ: His opponent hails from Tampa, Florida, standing 6 feet, 4 inches, and weighing 250 pounds... this is "THE HERO" MARCUS JOHNSON!
(Backstage, Rudy Seitzer is back with microphone in hand.)
RS: Folks, I’m backstage and I’ve got some special guests who have a couple of words for the CSWA fans.
(Camera pans back a bit as the two men step closer to Rudy, one over each shoulder. The NORTH CAROLINA BEAR PROJECT. SCOTT RIKTOR and JUSTIN VOSS. Fresh off the heels of advancing in the tournament over CSWA veterans AERIAL EXPRESS at VERSUS.)
(SEITZER looks a little uncomfortable with the duo standing so close to him but presses on regardless.)
RS: Scott, Justin, you recently advanced in the tournament against Aerial Expr--
(VOSS grabs SEITZER by the wrist, speaking into the microphone and using the interviewer’s hand a mic stand.)
VOSS: Listen here, Seitzer, ya little band geek, when the North Carolina Bear Project rolled into Greensboro we showed the CSWA just WHAT we’re capable of. We took their veterans and shoved them straight up their own arse. Why? (laughs) We had a MESSAGE to send to the whole damn tournament roster, Rudy.
(With his free hand he points at RIKTOR. Then thumbs himself in the chest.)
JV: That MESSAGE, Rudy, is that the North Carolina Bear Project have not just come here to play nice with these poor sons of butchers. We’ve come here to collect. Collect gold. Collect gold, kick some arses, cash them belts in and take Dan Ryan’s UNIFIED Championship out of his Ego Bombin’ little clutches.
(He stops to make a belt gesture.)
JV: The messge is CLEAR. Crystal clear, Rudy. The message is this: Get inside a ring with us and we will tear you apart and wipe our boots on your carcass like a bloodied doormat. We showed Luke Contos and Bobby Barnes. We showed the Aerial Express. They were the exclamation of our proclamation, Rudy.
(RIKTOR snatches RUDY’s wrist, prying it from VOSS’ grasp with a little to-and-fro between them. They stall for a moment to stare one another down.)
RIKTOR: You know, it’s been a while since I’ve done this.
(RIKTOR takes a look around the CSWA backstage area and shakes his head in disbelief.)
SR: This. Standing here in front of a camera, company banner thumb-tacked to the wall behind me. It’s been a while … but standing here right now I can feel that all-too-familiar fire burning. That desire to be champion. It’s back and it feels incredible.
(RUDY leans in to the microphone that he knows he won’t be able to take back from SCOTT RIKTOR until he’s good and ready to relinquish it.)
RS: Scott, like you said, it’s been a while since you’ve stepped foot inside a wrestling ring. So far, you’ve gone two-for-two but as you get deeper into this tournament how much do you think ring rust will come into play?
SR: Ring rust? I just wrestled half a match in a bear suit about a week ago, and I think I did pretty well for myself. Here’s the thing … I don’t quit. I don’t give up. If you’re going to try and pin my shoulders to the canvas for three seconds you better make damn well sure I’m unconscious for them because, if not, you will not keep me down. I have spent nearly two decades defying the odds.
(VOSS pulls the microphone back, a.k.a. RUDY’s wrist.)
JV: Two decades, man. TWO - DECADES! Between Riktor and me we got over THIRTY years experience in that ring, man. THIRTY YEARS! That’s older than most of these snotty nosed brats have been breathin’ let alone standin’ inside’f a ring.
(Chuckling to himself, VOSS pulls the wrist mic a little closer.)
JV: Individually, Scott and I are two of the toughest competitors in professional wrestling yesterday, today and the future. Together? TOGETHER?
(VOSS slaps a palm against his forehead, turns it around as a fist then opens it quickly making an exploding noise into the microphone.)
JV: Ka-BOOM! Together we’ll claim those titles. We’ll snatch those belts. You take the names. You take the names and WE’LL kick the ass. The North Carolina Bear Project is HERE to change the face of the SEE-ESS-DOUBLE U-AY, brother. Line ‘em up, man. :Line ‘em up and WE’LL knock ‘em down.
(This time, VOSS snatched the microphone out of RUDY’s hand, leaning into the camera with RIKTOR in shot over his right shoulder as VOSS fills the rest of the frame.)
JV: YOU bring the stupid... and we’ll bring the ass kickin’.
(Steps back. Shoves mic into RUDY’s chest. Claps a hand on RIKTOR’s shoulder, who gives an affirming nod in testament to the VOSSMAN’s words and the pair exit: stage left.)
BB: Joey, we're about to witness some fresh faces to CSWA as we work our way down the road of the Unified Tag Team Tournament. THE ROSE TWINS are about to go up against DIRK DICKWOOD PRESENTS and they are prepped and ready, standing in the ring and awaiting DDP!
JM: From my own personal conversations with Dirk Dickwood backstage you have to admire how he managed to pull together this team from the personal whims of former British socialite Cecilworth Farthington's dream to be a wrestler...
BB: They've racked up some wins elsewhere on ESEN but never before have they stood proudly in a CSWA ring but what can you say about the Rose Twins?
JM: What CAN you say? I tried to talk to Phoenix early, try and get an understanding of their game plan but they were all nowhere to be seen. Looks like they'll be doing all their talking in the ring tonight.
BB: Well, they're ready for Dirk Dickwood Presents to present themselves here tonight, so let's get to it.
(CUEUP: “When the Going Gets Tough” by Billy Ocean rocks the PA system in a way it has never been rocked before as Dirk Dickwood leads his charges Cecilworth Farthington and Hank towards the ring. Follow them up the rear are four muscular men wearing tight white t-shirts with “TRAINER” printed on the front and short red shorts.)
BB: Joey, know anything about these men trailing behind Dirk Dickwood Presents?
JM: They look jacked Bill, jacked to the gills!
BB: You know what I meant.
JM: From what I understand, these are Cecilworth Farthington's personal army of trainers, hired out of his own pocket to ensure that he is CSWA's premier physical specimen. I got there without tossing thousands down a money pit myself but to each their own.
(As DDP arrive at the ring, Dirk Dickwood proudly opens the ring ropes to allow his charges to enter. On the other side of the ring, Phoenix hands off his last minute advice to Logan and Tyler)
BB: And it looks like our two managers are imparting any wisdom they can before the bell rings.
JM: This is a big CSWA debut for both teams, these guys have their eyes on the Undisputed Tag Titles and you have to know the both Dirk Dickwood and Phoenix Rose feel that this is match to validate their strategy.
(The bells rings as Tyler and Cecilworth step out into their respective corners as Hank and Logan begin to circle each other in the middle of the ring.)
BB: And this one is off and running with the giant of Dirk Dickwood Presents, Hank looming over poor Logan Rose. Logan showing a bit of bravery and launching himself right towards to big man but Hank just swats him down to the mat like a fly. Hank staying on the attack here, stomping hard on the back of Logan Rose. Joey, what do you know about Hank?
JM: As far as I can tell Hank is Dirk Dickwood's mute former Head of Security that Dirk transformed into this wrestling BEAST after Cecilworth Farthington slapped a fat wad of cash down on the desk. I think it goes without saying that Hank is the brawn of this operation and right now Logan is bearing the brunt of that brawn.
BB: And no last name for Hank?
JM: Not one we know of. Perhaps we can investigate his dark past later but right now Bill, I think it best you do your job and call this match.
BB: Indeed, Hank now has Logan back up and he tosses him towards the ropes with all of his might. Logan rebounding and it appear that Hank is laying in wait for a back drop but it's not to be as BAM, a kick right in the temple from Logan Rose there and Hank is stunned. It looks like Logan Rose has angered the beast who is whiffing wild haymakers left and right here in the middle of the ring. Logan trying to spot an opening here to take advantage of the opening he created but Hank is just a whirlwind unto himself.
JM: I'm learning quite quickly that Hank is not a man to be toyed with, if you get caught with one of those punches flying about right now, I think it comes with a free ticket to the hospital.
BB: Logan now spots an opening and smacks a brutal dropkick to the knee of the giant, leaving him now down upon bended knee.
JM: I think Hank is ready to propose to the Roses!
BB: Logan is not wasting any time now as he rushes straight towards Hank and DRILLS a knee right into the face of Dirk Dickwood Present's giant. Dirk is starting to look a little concerned on the outside and appears to be having a private pow wow with Farthington's trainers as Logan tags Tyler into the ring to follow up on the attack. Logan holds Hank tightly as Hank tries to fight it off down on the mat but here comes Tyler! A running boot right to the already smashed up face of Hank! Farthington is looking irate on the apron, jumping up and down and yelling at the referee.
JM: Who could blame him? The Roses are blatantly disregarding the rules and I would hate to see our champions crowned as undeserving cheats.
BB: I don't believe what I'm hearing.
JM: Well, believe that one of Farthington's trainers has hopped up on the apron, distracting Tyler from the chin lock he had tightly locked in on Hank.
BB: I didn't doubt that. I can see that with my very own eyes. Now Tyler has stood up and has began to enter a shouting fact with one of these nameless fleshy vessels that make up the Farthington training staff as Hank pulls himself towards Farthington in the corner. The referee is now interjecting and trying to break up the dispute between the trainer and Tyler. It looks like Logan has seen enough though, canonballing towards the trainer, sending them both crashing down right in front of us!
JM: Are we insured for the action spilling this close? I didn't sign on for this when I agreed to enter the booth.
BB: Meanwhile back in the ring, Hank has made the tag to Cecilworth and he rushes straight for the distracted Tyler Rose. A clubbing forearm right to the back of the temple sends Tyler into the ropes and here he comes on the rebound... BIG GERMAN SUPLEX! Cecilworth showing a little bit of athletic prowess here, pulling himself up for the bridge. ONE! TWO! No! Tyler manages to power out.
JM: Dirk Dickwood on the outside thought he had this one with his smoke and mirrors cavalcade. Now he's hopping up on the apron, that apron is a busy mistress in this match.
BB: He may not be up there for long though, an irate Phoenix Rose has hobbled over behind Dickwood and... HA! He uses his cane to trip Dirk Dickwood off of the apron, causing Dirk to smash his face off of it on his way down. Rose looking oddly proud of himself as he gets a little bit of support from the fans. They clearly didn't come here to see shenanigans here tonight, they want competitive and fair tag team action.
JM: Are you sure we're talking about CSWA fans? I thought Merritt bought his second boat with shenanigans.
BB: Still, Tyler gets his shoulder up and Cecilworth Farthington is in disbelief, he's slapping his hand off the mat insisting it was a three count but it looks like his bravado could be costly as Tyler gives him the slip. Roll up! One! Two! No! Cecilworth manages to break free before that last slap of the mat. Farthington turning around to face Tyler and he has went bug eyed, he's clearly not happy with getting tripped up by young Tyler Rose here. The irate master of the Farthington Family spins a vicious elbow towards Tyler but Rose ducks it. Tyler now catching Farthing to slamming him into the mat with a bulldog. I don't think this is how the former socialite imaged making his CSWA debut.
JM: That's the trick Bill, he has the money, he has the physique, he has the manager but he lacks the experience in the right. The Roses are a wrestling family, the boys were raised in this industry, they aren't some kind of fly by night operation.
BB: Tyler looking to follow through on the bulldog but here comes Hank into the ring. Tyler is distracted keeping Cecilworth grounded, I don't think he's noticed the big man rushing towards him at surprisingly rapid speed. YAKUZA KICK! YAKUZA KICK AND TYLER ROSE MAY BE DEAD!
JM: That was impressive force from the former security chief, he's certainly a man who knows how to inflict a little bit of damage.
BB: The referee now trying to guide Hank back on to the apron, keep in mind fans that if Hank does not return to his corner before the count of five, he will be disqualified and DDP will be out of this just as quickly as they signed the contract. At the count of three now and it looks like Hank realises he has no other choice and returns to the apron.
JM: But look a trainer number 4!
BB: How do you know which one is which?
JM: Back of the shirt! But his kicked old man Phoenix Rose's cane away and has sent to poor man tumbling to the mat!
BB: The referee is still caught up with Hank, trying to force him back into the corner! Cecilworth now looking to the outside at realising what is about to happen. He holds the dazed Tyler's head against the bottom rope and here comes the cane! NO! TYLER DODGED IT! TYLER ROLLED FREE! THE CANE SMASHED IN TO FARTHINGTON'S CHEST!
JM: Doesn't look like there's any air left in that boy.
BB: Farthington flopping around down on the mat like a fish as the identified trainer number 4 can only look on in stunned shock. Tyler dives and tags back in the recovered Logan who immediately drops down for the cover. The referee pivots around from Hank and we've got a one! Two! NO! Broken up by the big man with a leg right across the back of poor Logan Rose. Think of all that weight crushing down on you.
JM: I've had that weight crushing down on me, it is not a fun time. That was a truly horrible night in Bangkok. I always thought Asian women were small and dainty.
BB: Farthington must be thanking his stars that Hank is acting as his guardian here tonight.
JM: Good thing this is a tag bout, I think you could have counted to one hundred for Farthington right there.
BB: Hank now once again being forced to return to his corner and once again this cavalcade of interference is running rampant with the trainer branded number 3 from his t-shirt now pulling Tyler Rose off the apron and smashing him into the ring steps. I think that might be it for Tyler Rose, that has an awfully round thud as his shoulder met steel.
JM: Why do we make our ring steps so dangerously destructive anyway?
BB: We don't tend to expect wrestlers to be launched shoulder first into them on the whim of a buff gym trainer. Logan Rose now, grabbing Farthington by the hair and it appears that Farthington is still feeling the effects of the cane crashing straight into his sternum. Farthington though, grabbing Rose by the tights and trips him... Logan Rose's face has smashed right into the top turnbuckle in a bad part of town. Hank is licking his lips on the apron, it looks like he wants to little revenge from the prior face smash.
JM: God knows why, smashing that lugs face in might actually accidentally do some improvements.
BB: Farthington rolling over now and tagging Hank back into the ring but it looks like he's calling the shots. Farthington in his dazed state is demanding the Hank lift Logan Rose into the piledriver position and Hank dutifully follows the orders.
JM: This doesn't look good for the Roses, I've seen clips of DDP do this before!
BB: Farthington dives off from the second turnbuckle, HE SMASHES LOGAN RIGHT INTO THE MAT! SPIKED PILEDRIVER!
JM: He's dead!
BB: Farthington jumps back on the apron with a wide smile on his face as Hank pulls Logan to the middle of the ring for the pin. Surely this is elementary. ONE! TWO! THREE!
(SFX: Ding ding ding.)
BB: Well thanks to an endless stream of lackeys running interference, Dirk Dickwood Presents pick up their first victory in CSWA and the man the team is named after could not look anymore prouder. He is positively glowing despite the dastardly tactics that brought them the dubya.
JM: Hank and Farthington have to be careful, they've just opened their game plan wide open to anyone who is watching and you best bet whoever stands opposite them next with be ready for this bag of tricks.
BB: But for now they are celebrating like they've already won the titles. The remaining trainers lifting Farthington up on his shoulders as Dirk Dickwood applauds from below. This is disgraceful, this is not what this tournament was meant to be.
JM: And yet it is.
BB: We'll be right back.
BB: Fans, we're back on CSWA PRIMETIME and we've been waiting since BLUE MOON to hear from BLAINE HOLLYWOOD about the reasons for his brutal, brutal attack on Dan Ryan and Troy Windham. And it looks like Mr. Hollywood is still keeping us waiting -- I've been told there's no sign of him in the arena.
JM: You don’t understand how something as simple as a entitled jock from Bel Air, California could save my life, Buckley. It’s like a fog has been lifted – now my teeth are whiter, I don’t pop my ‘p’s’ anymore, and food tastes better! If I know all that I needed was a dose of Blaine Hollywood, I would have vetted for him to get here years ago! I mean, he’s no Joey Melton, but in this case I’ll give a pass.
BB: You’re not helping, Joey. We just got word from building management, that there’s a man on the roof, and we’re getting a camera up there – I hope it’s nothing serious…
JM: Maybe it’s a jumper? I mean, I HOPE IT’S NOT A JUMPER. That’s totally what I meant.
BB: We have a feed! Let’s take you there now.
(CUTTO: The roof of Philips Arena, where there’s a helicopter with its rotors slowly moving. Standing about 30 yards in front of it, is BLAINE HOLLYWOOD, wearing a Armani overcoat, a tuxedo and a cashmere scarf flapping due east from his neck. Another camera pulls back and shows Blaine is showing on the main roof, positioned right above the stylized “ATLANTA” sign on the front of the arena. He addresses the camera.)
HOLLYWOOD: Greetings to all and sundry! CSWA, (Turns around) LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE NOW. My name just happens to be BLAINE HOLLYWOOD, and if you haven’t heard by now – the only way you would NOT is if you do not own a television, or lost your fight with a homeless man with newspaper for socks for free library computer privileges. And that is all YOUR FAULT, because if you did NOT know my name, then you pouissants would know that BLAINE HOLLYWOOD, beyond being better than any of you could ever achieve to be, that I am RICH, a top tier athlete, and above all else, I am an OXONIAN.
JM: (V/O) That means he went to Oxford University, Bill. That’s in England.
BB: (V/O) Thanks for that tip, Joey.
H’WOOD: First and foremost, you may be asking yourself why would I, someone of my countenance sully my hands by touching down on the dead, grey terra firma of Atlanta, where (waves arms) the ‘classy’ live. Let me start off by saying that is a bald-faced LIE! Money does NOT buy you class, it just gives you money – and the money I’ve seen here is SMALL, SMALL MONEY. Not like the wealth that comes from the Hollywood coffers – I wouldn’t even open a smoothie bar in this town! But that’s beside the point. What you may have noticed, is that I have not set one of my Oxonian feet in this deathtrap of an arena tonight. Landing on the roof in my private helicopter is as close as you will get to me – but is also apropos, as I am standing ABOVE you, and all you can do is look up, and perchance – dream of one day having the pleasure of using you as a human rug, or toilet. OH YOU CAN DREAM.
What I AM doing here is to offer a fair warning to the CSWA Management and UNIFIED World Heavyweight Champion, Dan Ryan. Dan Ryan, we have crossed paths a few times, but never so personally as to where I have had the pleasure of driving my knees through your ribcage like I did at CSWA BLUE MOON. It was … (purses lips) mildly amusing, but didn’t have the acquired affect I would have liked. What I WANT to have happen, is for Blaine Hollywood to do that, but with that UNIFIED title on the line. THAT love tap that you got at Blue Moon, was a ring of the doorbell, Dan Ryan. That was Blaine Hollywood, moving into your neighborhood and bringing over a friendly, neighborly bundt cake. I don’t care if we become friends, Dan Ryan, because any relationship between you and I is as long as it takes me to UNFURL the UNIFIED title from around your waist. You are now ON NOTICE, friend. And the same goes for Troy Windham, whom I almost killed at Blue Moon, but I’m sure is no stranger to asphyxiation scenarios. Troy Windham? It would BEHOOOOOOOOVE YOU to steer clear of the FUTURE PERFECT, the man which is the FORERUNNER of the FUTURE, where YOU have no place.
Troy Windham, it’s time for you to roll over and die, and I have no problem putting another bag over your head and choking you out to the point YOU WON’T WAKE UP. (Glares wild eyes into the camera!)
Gentlemen, you have never dealt with someone like me before. I am untethered from buffoonery. I am unrestrained from humor. I am here for one thing: DOMINATION and the KING’S CROWN of CSWA. And as an Oxonian, I DO NOT LIE. My words are gospel – my statements robed in violent truths. My name is Blaine Hollywood – the soon to be UNIFIED World Heavyweight Champion, and YOUR BETTER. And that – (tightens his coat and wraps the scarf around his neck) IS GOOD – AS GOLD.
(H’WOOD dips his head low and takes off for the helicopter. He gets in and is handed a gold headset and puts it on as the bird TAKES OFF into the Georgia night!)
BB: Blaine Hollywood clearly put a target on his head when he set his own sights on wrestling superstars like Troy Windham and Dan Ryan. The question remains... can Hollywood live up to the hype. But for now, we've got a tag tournament to get back to!
JM: Is it happening on the roof?
(CUTTO: The backstage locker room area, inside of a small single locker room. JESSE RAMEY and PAT GORDON, JR look as though they are preparing for their match against BLITZ coming up next. Ramey looks a little more happy than normal as he paces the locker room with a smile on his face.)
JESSE RAMEY: Do you have any idea how good it feels to actually be back on American soil, Pat? I’ve been touring the world for years now, and to be this close to home; it’s the best feeling in the world.
PAT GORDON, JR.: Hey, I’ll bet it feels good, but not as good as being in the CSWA! I’ve been dreaming about this since I was a kid, Jesse.
JR: I don’t doubt that in the least, it does feel good being involved in a promotion as prestigious as the CSWA. I’ve been in a lot of high profile promotions over my twenty-one years in this profession, Pat. I’ve wrestled some of the biggest names in this business, and I’ve wrestled in just about every country in the world. I’ve held more championships than I can count on both hands, but this time is different. We’re part of history; we’re part of something special here. Not only that, but we’re positioned to do something great in the CSWA. Once we win this tournament and we take those CSWA Tag Team Championships, we’ll earn ourselves a shot at whoever the UNIFIED Champion is, and then we can really cement our names in the history books.”
PGJR: “That’s right, Jesse. And our first match is against Blitz, a legendary tag team in their own right. But for all they’ve done in the past, they’re gonna find out that’s where it stays: THE PAST. It’s not about what you did five years ago; it’s what you can do TONIGHT.”
(Pat Gordon, Jr. motions his thumb back and forth between himself and Jesse Ramey.)
PGJR: And Jesse and I, we’re gonna be standing tall when this night’s over.
JR: You may think what Pat is saying comes off as cocky.”
(Ramey pauses for a moment.)
JR: It’s not though, nothing we say is meant to come off as cocky. We want nothing more than to go out into that ring and put on a match that is going to keep the fans talking for months to come. Every single time we step into that ring, we’re going to give the fans exactly what they want to see. That’s why we’re in this business, that’s what we thrive on.
There is a distinct difference between being confident and being cocky. We’re not cocky, we just know what we’re doing inside of that ring; we know that we have a chemistry inside of that ring that is going to blow everyone away. We’re not afraid of competing on the same stage as teams the likes of Blitz or Team V.I.A.G.R.A because we know that we can stand tall against them.”
(Ramey gives another brief pause to catch his breath.)
PGJR: Hell, Jesse, I’d LOVE to get back in the ring with Jack Harmen after what happened at UltraTitle...
Ramey: “I have no doubt in my mind that tonight you’re going to give us a fight Blitz, but that isn’t going to stop us from giving everything we’ve got inside of us to beat you. We’re not going to be a cakewalk; we’re going to give you just as much as you can give us; and more.
PGJR: And Leonard James, you talk about us like Blitz is going to run right over us. You try to minimalize us and what we’ve done. But that’s because you’re scared, LJ. You’re scared for Blitz. You know that they’re in for a hell of a fight against the Ring Nightmares, me and Jesse. And you’re afraid of what the result is gonna be because you know something about your boys. And that something is your boys aren’t unstoppable after all. So that’s why you try to downplay us, act as if we’re nobodies. And try to convince Max and Jecht they’ve got an easy night ahead of them. Because you can’t bear to tell them, LJ. You can’t stand to look Max and Jecht in the eye and tell them they’re in for the fight of their lives.
Because after what you said about my father, now you have a PISSED OFF Gordon on your hands. And that’s something Suicide and Jeffrey Roberts both found out you don’t want to deal with. Then, when you factor in Jesse Ramey with his experience, well your night just gets worse from there.
JR: I’ve said this before, and I’m going to say it again. Tonight, Blitz, you get to face your wrestling nightmare inside of that ring; and when it’s all said and done only one team will be standing victorious and we’re going all the way in this tournament, bank on it.
BB: The Unified Tag Team Tournament has been the feature of the CSWA since it’s return and there’s a huge reason why. In case you haven’t heard us talk about the new Unified Tag Titles…
JM: Which means you’ve ignored us the first eight-hundred-forty-seven times…
BB: The Unified Tag Titles comes with a special “Express Pass” stipulation.
JM: (mumbles) Copyright The Amazing Race circa 2002.
BB: Once a team has successfully defended the titles three times, they have the option to continue as the tag champions, or to “turn in” the titles and get a shot at the UNIFIED World Champion. We haven’t been told exactly how that will work, except that each member of the team will get a shot at the title – it could be a one-on-one match, it could be a triple threat match, we just don’t know.
JM: It’s certainly a risk, but it means that there’s a way to jump up the ladder and bypass those at the top. The hardest thing to do in this sport is to keep the UNIFIED World Championship around your waist. The second hardest thing to do is to get position yourself to get a shot at it. We heard from Blaine Hollywood, who apparently has created his own “express pass” to the top by attacking Dan Ryan.
BB: But for those looking to do it the legitimate way, they’ve got a chance through this tournament. We’ve already seen tag teams new to the CSWA jump in to claim their spot as the preeminent team in the sport, but we’ve also seen former rivals like Scott Riktor and Justin Voss team up, apparently looking to cash in that express pass as quickly as they can. Tonight, we’ve got one of each going up against each other.
(CUEUP: “Links 2-3-4” by Rammstein)
(The camera ZOOMS IN to CSWAvision as the marching drums hit heavy, showing black and white video footage of marching German soldiers. As the music kicks in, the names "Max", "Jecht" and "BLITZ" fade in and out. Blitz’s manager, Leonard Johnson, steps onto the stage, his charges close behind, flanking him. They pause for a few moments before the two big men march behind Leonard toward the ring, sliding under the bottom rope. Leonard moves to their corner, giving final instructions to the two men, who are intensely ignoring everything else but the task at hand.)
BB: Ladies and gentlemen, these two behemoths are BLITZ. They’re both HUGE, but Jecht is a monster at six-feet-eleven and 347 pounds.
JM: I know them both well from over in Dan Ryan’s EPW. They’re good, but if Cammy wasn’t such a pain, we’d still be tag team champions there and Blitz would never have tasted the sweet nectar of championship ambrosia.
BB: You realize none of us have any idea what you’re talking about, right?
JM: It’s not my fault you’re an enlightened troglodyte. Now I know why Sammy wanted to destroy the CSWA. You. All your fault.
BB: Blitz have made themselves tag champions all around the world, but tonight they face a team put together on the fly…
(CUEUP: “Chariots of Fire”. There’s no running on the beach in this version of the video, however, just the streets of Boston. Just as the slow music hits its crescendo, the lights drop, the music skips and “Heroes” by Shinedown kicks in. The driving guitar hits the line “All my heroes are dead and gone, they’re inside of me, they still live on…”)
(And PAT GORDON, JR. and JESSE RAMEY step out as Rhubarb Jones announces them individually, then as the team the “Ring Nightmares.”)
BB: Pat Gordon has been lighting up the independent scene, cutting his teeth in the same industry his father did. Jesse Ramey has been around for a long, long time and has been both a singles and tag champion around the world.
JM: Ramey maybe be best known for his “King of Ages” win in ACW back in 2010. Tonight, we’ll see if he can corral this kid and avoid the awesome power of Blitz.
BB: There’s the bell and it’s Jecht starting off against Ramey. Ramey is giving up almost a hundred and fifty pounds here.
JM: It’s cliché, Bill, but he’s got to keep moving and stay out of the grasp of the big… too late!
BB: Jecht shot in incredibly quickly, grabbing Ramey’s arm pulling him inside for a headlock. He slams Ramey across the ring into the Blitz corner turnbuckle, knocking the wind out him. Max backs up, showing referee Ben Worthington that he’s staying out of his. Jecht follows in with a shoulder, crumpling Ramey down to the mat. He pulls him up and quickly slaps him over his shoulder. He comes out of the corner… RUNNING POWERSLAM and the cover! ONE…. TWO… NO! Ramey kicks out!
JM: Blitz doesn’t just look intimidating, they are intimidating. If you underestimate them, you won’t just lose, you might lose an arm.
BB: Jecht pulls Ramey to his feet by his air. Huge clothesline slams the wind out of Ramey once again. Gordon can do nothing but hold onto that tag rope and yell encouragement to a man he’s partnering with for the first time.
JM: PGJr over there might not even get into this one. Would we still call it his CSWA debut?
BB: Jecht has Ramey up again, he hooks the tights and powers him up into a vertical suplex and then keeps him there for what seems like forever! Finally he drops Ramey onto the mat.
JM: And he drops him on the Blitz side of the ring, keeping him as far away from his partner as possible.
BB: Jecht keeps control of Ramey’s head and tags in his partner, Max, as their manager gives quick, clipped orders from the floor below. Max with a quick swinging neckbreaker and a cover that gets two. Max and Jecht haven’t partnered with each other in almost four years, but it’s like they haven’t missed a step.
JM: It may look smooth, Bill, but speaking from experience and having to deal with Cruise, I can tell you that looks can be deceiving. You may remember everything the two of you did together, every move and every double team, but sometimes you both remember it just differently enough that it causes problems.
BB: Max pulls Ramey back up and sends him into the ropes for what looks like a… NO! Max missed the dropkick as Ramey is able to hook the ropes and hold on for dear life. Max up quickly, but Ramey comes off the ropes with a Japanese arm drag. He’s up like lightning, hits the ropes on the other side and sends Max down with a BULLDOG!
JM: The fans are lighting up for this one!
BB: Max is up on his feet again – both these men are super-quick. SUPERKICK BY RAMEY! Max is down, and Ramey dives for his corner… and TAGS Pat Gordon, Jr.
JM: Smart vet move by Ramey. He knew it wouldn’t be enough to pin Max, but it was enough to get him to his corner. But now there’s trouble!!!
BB: Because Max is a veteran too! PGJr charges in, and Max dives back and tags in Jecht! The Southie Scrapper throws himself to the side as Jecht powers in with a clothesline attempt. Gordon throws himself in… IRISH KISS!! He simply leveled a huge headbutt right at Jecht’s midsection and took the air right out him!
JM: The kid’s giving up a hundred pounds to the big man and he just gave him a big (BLEEP) you at the same time!
BB: PGJr with an elbow, and another, and another right down on the chest and midsection of Jecht. And now Gordon quickly spins around and tags in Jesse Ramey!
JM: They better take advantage of this – and it’s hard for a team tagging for the first time to get it together and make it work.
BB: Pat Gordon drops another elbow on Jecht as Jesse Ramey heads up top! CULTURE DEVELOPMENT moonsault from the veteran high flyer! Max charges in from the other side, but Gordon quick with a sliding dropkick while Ramey hooks the leg! ONE…. TWO… THREE!!!! The team known as the Ring Nightmares get a hard-fought victory in their debut, and Jesse Ramey and Pat Gordon, Jr. are moving on in this tournament for the Unified Tag Championships!
JM: It’s incredibly hard to take down a team as big as Blitz, but the snot-nosed kid and drooling veteran apparently have some chemistry together. And I can’t believe I just said that…
BB: Stop while you’re ahead. Fans, we’ve got one commercial break left in us, but when we come back here on CSWA PRIMETIME on ESEN, it’s time for you be re-introduced to UNIFIED World Champion Dan Ryan!
JM: I didn’t want to meet him the first time…
(CUTTO: A shot of Buckley and Melton at ringside.)
BB: Pat Gordon, Jr. and Jesse Ramey are moving on to the semifinals of the Unified Tag Tournament! The final first round match will take place on VERSUS next week when we see a rematch between Team VIAGRA and the newly-formed team of the Urban Legends, former tag champ Boogie Smallz and rookie Malcolm Joseph-Jones.
JM: Can that match be on the roof? Or if that area just reserved for Blaine?
BB: True, we didn’t get Blaine Hollywood in the ring tonight, but a good look at him on a rooftop.
JM: He’s a modern-day Santa Claus. You’ll see.
BB: He may need to grow his beard out.
JM: Don’t be a smartass.
BB: I learned from the best. Folks, it’s been a great night here at the new CSWA PRIMETIME. We want to thank the incredible crowd here in Atlanta for…
(CUEUP: “Zero” by Smashing Pumpkin hits the speakers and the crown comes to its feet.)
JM: It’s not over yet, Bill!
BB: And here comes Joey Melton’s brother-in-law!
JM: EX brother-in-law!
(UNIFIED World Champion Dan Ryan steps through the curtain wearing slacks and a casual dress shirt with a sportscoat, the championship fitted snug around his waist. He looks into the crowd and smirks briefly, then starts his way down to the ring.)
BB: So how are you and your former family member getting along these days, Joey?
JM: I’d just as soon not discuss it, and I’ll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs, thankyouverymuch.
BB: So now you DON’T wanna talk about Lindsay? During the ULTRATITLE you couldn’t shut up about her.
JM: Bill, the UNIFIED World Champion is climbing into the ring! Show some respect for chrissakes.
BB: Of course.
JM: It’s a good thing I’m on this panel. Someone has to keep you objective.
BB: Oh yeah, thank the Lord for Joey Melton.
JM: That’s not even the first time I’ve heard that TODAY.
BB: See! You’re the one that keeps bringing it back around to Lindsay.
JM: Thin ice, Bill. Thin ice.
(Ryan stands in the ring and gestures for a microphone as the crowd noise begins to die down.)
DAN RYAN: Blaine Hollywood….
I was wondering who the first person to take aim at the target on my back might be. What’s wrong? Did you hear “Zero” come on the speakers and have an ULTRATITLE flashback?
I know there’s some issue about that whole thing with that guy, but I promise, I had nothing to do with that. It’s a coincidence, I assure you. But since you HAVE done what you’ve done, and since we ARE where we are, me in a ring, you off to tend to your cashmere goat flock (after all, molting season will soon be upon us!!), let’s talk about this whole nasty BLUE MOON incident.
Putting aside Oxonian logic, which clearly states that if an arena is a deathtrap, you should not step inside it, rather, you should step somewhere safer…. LIKE THE ROOF…. I have no problem with your little stunt at BLUE MOON. Anyone who knows me, and let’s face it, everyone knows me, knows that I’m no stranger to taking a little extra advantage or making a statement when a statement needs to be made. You’re full of ambition, you want to stand in the spotlight, and hey, carpe diem.
You’re also correct, however in saying that it didn’t have the desired effect. I must assume this to be true because other than some mild annoyance, it really didn’t have any lasting effect. However, there IS the ancillary benefit of now having my attention solely focused on you and you alone, Mr. Hollywood. I never really cared much for Bundt cake, and I’m in training mode right now anyway, so I’ll just let the dog have that. The chances of us ever being friends were never very high to begin with, though were they? I’m quite certain I didn’t place a “WANTED: Tightly wound high society douche friend” ad on Craigslist, so unless there was some kind of miscommunication, your worries are misplaced.
I appreciate that you are following in the footsteps of other great Oxonians who DO NOT LIE, like Gary Hart, Tony Blair, Bill Clinton and of course, Hugh Grant. What I don’t appreciate is you walking into CSWA in your dopey outfit and goofy ass 19th century Vienna vocabulary, a goat-hair ascot around your neck, and talking to me like you get to tell me ANYTHING. And I know, you landed on the roof, you’re ABOVE US. You worked really hard on that metaphor, Blaine. But until you get in the ring with me, face to face, and back up that nonsense, your words are empty. “All and sundry” see right through you, Hollywood.
You think you’re a blue blood. Well, maybe it’s time you get in the ring. I feel like painting the canvas blue.
(Ryan tosses the microphone to the side as “ZERO” starts up again and climbs out of the ring, walking toward the curtain, slapping a few hands as he goes.)
BB: The UNIFIED Champ has spoken!
JM: I thought that line was reserved for…
BB: It’s Dan Ryan who WINS this one, Joey. And it may be Blaine Hollywood who loses. The Ego Buster has his sights dead set on the “Future Perfect” Oxonian.
JM: I guess we’re about to find out how good a shot the Texan is. But Blaine Hollywood already got first blood, and he may have Ryan’s number!
BB: Folks, thanks again for welcoming us back here on PRIMETIME! Be sure to catch VERSUS next week, and then we’ll see you again in two weeks when we’re back with Cameron Cruise vs. Kevin Watson for the Greensboro Championship, as well as the semifinals of the Unified Tag Team Tournament.
JM: BEAR SUITS! I CAN BEAR-LY WAIT!
BB: (groans) Good night folks!
Until the new site is fully up and running, check the following:
VERSUS 01 -- The CSWA heads back out on the road!
CSWA: BLUE MOON -- the card that crowned a new UNIFIED Champion and brought the CSWA back to life.
CSWA RP Central on FWrestling.com -- keep up to date, give feedback on this card, or even join up!
FISH FUND XIV: Fin -- the card that closed the CSWA for years!
Results compiled and archived with Backstage 3.