19 Feb 2013

Pensacola Civic Center, Pensacola, Florida (seats 10,000)

The Downtown Train To Oz

(FADEIN: The Yellow Brick Road of Oz.)

(CUTTO: Dorothy, with a picnic basket in her left hand, skipping down the famed yellow brick road.)

DOROTHY: La la la la laaa la la la laaaaaa.

(CUTTO: Joey Melton dressed as the Scarecrow jumping out in front of her.)

MELTON: Well, hello!


MELTON: I heard singing and…

DOROTHY: And what?

MELTON: I’ve been thinking it’d be merry to go back in time and take your cherry, oh if I only had a…

DOROTHY: Excuse me?!

MELTON: Before I came to Oz I had a great big…organ. I used to play for days. Play long and hard, all through the night. Women would come from miles around just to sit and play.

DOROTHY: You play the organ?

MELTON: It’s a magical instrument. But one day I woke up in this place. Surrounded by midgets and made of hay! Oh I once could touch it for hours, but now it’s more keen to help grow flowers, somedays when it rained, all the ladies wanted to ride the D Train…

(She cuts Joey off and excitedly prances about.)

DOROTHY:  I’m going to see a Wizard!

MELTON: (bemused) You think he’d help me?

DOROTHY: Maybe! How would you entertain in this place?

(Melton winks and starts to sing.)

MELTON: I would show you its long and as lean as a tower

I’d be Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
and the ways to make you shiver

I’d have you running like a river.

If I only had a D Train…

(DOROTHY playfully slaps the arm of Melton.)

DOROTHY: With the thoughts you'd be thinkin'
You could do me in the back of a classic Lincoln
If you only had a D Train...

MELTON: Oh, I would tell you why
The ocean's near the shore
I could think of things I never thunk before
And then I'd sit and think some more

DOROTHY: You’d sit and think some more…

MELTON: I’d have you on all fours

And give you the three hour tour

If I only had a…

(QUICK CUTTO: Joey Melton sitting up in bed in the middle of the night, in a cold sweat.)

MELTON: I’ve got to stop eating after Eight…

Welcome To VERSUS

(CUEUP: A cut down version of the CSWA's intro to BLUE MOON plays as the original CSWA logo slowly fades in. As the monologue continues, the CSWA's logo changes from era to era, finally reaching the new red star logo.)

(V/O) And what was once ordinary... becomes legendary.

To those of you just joining us, welcome.

To those of you who have been waiting for our return, welcome back.

To all of you, welcome home.

THIS is the CSWA.

(CUEUP: "Home" by Philip Phillips. A lone guitar kicks in.)

Hold on to me as we go

As we roll down this unfamiliar road

And although this wave is stringin' us along

Just know you're not alone

'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

(CUTTO:  Dan Ryan hits a Humility Bomb and collapses onto Troy Windham as the referee starts a count in their match at BLUE MOON.)

(CUTTO:  Troy Windham and Dan Ryan embracing in the center of the ring after their war, the UNIFIED Title over Ryan's shoulder.)

(CUTTO:  "Triple X" Sean Stevens standing on the turnbuckle celebrating with the Greensboro crowd after his win over Hornet.)

(CUTTO:  Scott Riktor ripping off a bear suit in the corner, while Justin Voss stands on the apron jumping up and down in a bear suit.)

Settle down it'll all be clear

Don't pay no mind to the demons they fill you with fear

Trouble it might drag you down

If you get lost you can always be found

Just know you're not alone

Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

(CUTTO:  An overhead shot of the Greensboro crowd ERUPTING as the referee counts three and Troy Windham's foot hits the ropes too late.)

(CUTTO:  Individual and group shots of the fans inside the arena. And then there's PYRO!)  


(CUTTO: A mostly sold out arena. Fans of all ages are mugging for the cameras and trying to get their homemade, cheap-ass signs on camera. A middle-aged man with a crooked smile holds a “You roll a 6, I roll a 9” Gunsdust sign. Another reads, “Parsons family kids, one million strong and growwwing.”)

(CUTTO: The broadcast both were a dapper John Simons sits beside an overdone Manual Juarez. It’s a smaller spotlight than what his momma promised him years ago, but Manny nudges John slightly from frame to take a more center shot.)

MANNY: Welcome  Juan, welcome to my humble commode!

JOHN SIMONS: Manny, its humble abode…

MANNY: Yes yes it its hard to be humble Juan, when dees people are here to see me, but fear not Manny was raised right. I won’t forget any of you when I blow up. Oh the CSWA is back Juan and Manny is King once again!


MANNY: Yes Juan?

JOHN SIMONS: No, I wasn’t..

MANNY: Don’t be afraid to humble yourself before me Juan. I rule with an iron fist, but the peasants worship me.

JOHN SIMONS: Fans welcome back to another edition of CSWA VERSUS! Tonight we’ve got a great show for you!

MANNY: Don’t lie, it’s all filler until Manny is given the opportunity to SING! Let these peasants be entertained finally! Give them real VALUE for their dollar. Isn’t that what these people are used  to? Value meals?

JOHN SIMONS: I know Hornet’s having the wrestlers tested for dope, he might want to think about doing so for the help.

MANNY: That’s racist Juan. Manny is not the HELP.

JOHN SIMONS: Tonight we’ve got the last first round match up of the Tag Team tournament! Point Of View makes their debut and much more, including the homecoming of a superstar!

MANNY: Yes, Juan. Manny is home. Now, fetch the time. Manny must know when its time to go on stage!

JOHN SIMONS: But right now let's hear from the team already in the ring!

(CUTTO: The Ring Nightmares Pat Gordon Jr. and Jesse Ramey bouncing around the ring, hyping up the crowd. Bill Parsons is in the ring...Bill!

BILL PARSONS: Thank you Juan. I mean John. I'm joined here by second generation wrestler Pat Gordon and his partner Jesse Ramey. Guys you were just telling me what an honor it is to be in the CSWA. You come from a great tradition of wrestling and if that's what you're lookng for you've found it here in the CSWA...

(Gordon opens his mouth to speak.)

V/O: "Whoa whoa whoa...

The View


(CUE UP: "All Our Nightmares" by Metallica. PGJR and Jesse Ramey, collectively known as the Ring Nightmares, give out high fives on their way to the ring. Pat has a microphone in hand.)

PGJR:  Jesse and I just wanted to come out here tonight and say how proud we are to be a part of CSWA's rich tradition.  Championship Wrestling Association is where all of the best competitors have always come to ply their trade in the ring.  From legends like Doc Silver to Jean Rabesque to all-time favorites like Hornet and Shane Southern.  CSWA has always had the best wrestlers in the world, and we're proud to not only be here, but to be able to show that WE can compete with the best.

And after beating a team like Blitz, who've been so dominant in A1E and EPW in the past, I'd say we've shown we can play our part in continuing CSWA's proud tradition. And we're excited to see what kind of competition we'll have in the next round of the UNIFIED Tag Team Title Tournament.

“Whoa Whoa Whoa.”

(CUTTO: CSWAVision. POINT OF VIEW – Jason Murray and Eric Beachy, lead by their valet/manager Bronte Lakes – explode on the screen, sneering disapprovingly.)

(CUTTO: Murray holding out the palm of his left hand to the camera.)


ERIC BEACHY: If it’s not Bill Parsons, a poster child for the glory days of the CSWA. Bill, nobody uses the TV guide anymore and no one knows who the hell the Parsons are either. (BOOO.) Jason and I, we’ve heard Gordon and Ramey talk in the back about the tradition of the CSWA and the the second generation circle jerk (BLEEP) that will have half these people bored to tears if they were allowed to talk. You think that makes you a big star? Name dropping? Standing in the ring with a legend, someone who was famous when the meat on a Wendy’s single was still square?

JASON MURRAY: Nobody cares who you are, or who you know. You’re exactly what’s wrong with wrestling today, Gordon. You were handed everything on a silver platter. Given access to the sport, booked on shows because of your last name and not what you’re able to do in a ring! You think the CSWA needs to pat you on the back because you’re a kiss-ass? You want another hand out Gordon? This company, the company we loved as kids went bankrupt because it became one giant good ol’ boy’s network. People here became lazy and the workrate suffered. It no longer became about putting on a good show for the fans but it was about hanging out for the new contract, the heath care benefits, and the legendary spreads after meals. The CSWA stopped making people WORK FOR IT! And here you jackasses come, speaking about the history of the league to anyone who will listen and how you’re happy to be here writing your own!

ERIC BEACHY: And it’s no wonder! You want a business where your son is promised entry, fame and fortune. You want a world where it’s not how you work, but where you work. Nightmares, this is our reality. NODODY KNEW WHO WE WERE! We started out in our backyards, putting on shows for housewives and retarded cousins who were homeschooled out of fear they’d be ridiculed by people like you, people who had everything handed to them and no nothin’ about the struggle!

JASON MURRAY: We put our shows on Youtube and became stars. We are the next wave of professional wrestling! Able to reach a wider audience and bearers of the truth that if you don’t INNOVATE you will SUFFOCATE .

BILL PARSONS: Guys? This isn’t your time, it’s the Nightmares. Respect that, please.

ERIC BEACHY: Parsons, suck it! You let this company make fools of you and your family and the minute you’re worried about social security not being there you come back for the cash.

PGJR:  I'll tell you what, fellas.  If you're so sure of yourselves, if you're so big and bad and tough... why not back up your words and GET IN THE RING!



BRONTE LAKES: This can’t happen now? We haven’t properly warmed up. I’m not ready. No…No. (BOOO.) We perform when we’re ready, Parsons!

BILL PARSONS: I think these fine people here can help me count to ten. ONE….

BRONTE LAKES: These people can’t SPELL ten, let alone count to it!


BRONTE LAKES: (frantic) You want my boys now? You think you can handle our POINT OF VIEW? The revolution starts now! Let’s go!


JS: Fans, we need a break! When we come back our first match of the evening. Point of View vs. The Ring Nightmares!

MJ: It will take two minutes for these people to count to ten Juan.

JS: Stop it!


Point of View vs. Ring Nightmares


JS: Is this match happening right now, Manny?

MJ: Oh Juan, production notes are a wonderful thing. Yes my boy, yes.

(MUSIC CUE UP: “Funeral” by Band of Horses.)

(CUTTO: POINT OF VIEW – Eric Beachy, Jason Murray and Bronte Lakes running down to the ring.)

JS: All four men jawing at each other in the ring! This one got heated fast and here we go! This is happening now!

JS: Carl Young calls for the bell and this one is underway!

MJ: Carl Young. Manny love the Young family. Father had heart attack in CSWA ring, no?

JS: Jason Murray and Pat Gordon will start for their respective teams. And yes, Manny, Patrick Young had a heart attack almost twenty years ago in a CSWA ring. It’s the sort of moment the Hall of Fame doesn’t exactly lead with, you know?

(CUTTO: Murray and Gordon locking up in the middle of the ring!)

JS: Murray towers over the smaller Gordon a bit, but its Gordon who wins the exchange!  Side headlock for Pat Jr and its Beachy off the top rope with a forearm shiver to the back of Gordon’s head! That’s illegal, Manny!

(CUTTO: Young berating Beachy before catching Ramey crossing the ring trying to get even. Young orders Ramey back to his corner. Jesse pleads his case, but Young stands his ground.)

MJ: Oh Juan, there’s nothing wrong with taking the initiative.

JS: It’s dirty handed and out and out cheating Manny!

(CUTTO: Beachy and Murray clubbing Gordon in unison.)

MJ: Yes, yes it is, but Juan, are we not human? If you prick us do we no bleed?

JS: Young finally regains control but Gordon is in trouble early. Murray pushes him back into Point Of View’s corner and tags Beachy (CROWD BOOS) and now both men working over the Bostonian!

MJ: Maybe next time when he’s not wrestling on VERSUS, Gordon won’t sit in the locker room eating fried chicken and drink beer.

JS: Really? That joke isn’t dated?

(CUTTO:  Beachy lifts Gordon up and suplexes him down to the mat! Before Murray is made to leave the ring, he drops an elbow over Gordon’s chest!)

MJ: How long have we been away Juan? Good material can’t go to waste.

JS: Beachy backs Gordon into the ropes and shoots him across the ring, FLYING DROPKICK! And Gordon was nailed flush on that one!

MJ: Some luck fan got a front tooth to take home. Maybe Juan, maybe Pat Jr. will sign it for the little bastard before we ship off for the next town or long period of inactivity, whatever comes first.

JS: Quick cover, but Gordon is up, he’s on his knees and he fires a right hand into Beachy’s gut! Eric reaches back and quickly tags Murray! Jason jumps over the ropes. Both men now, double arm twist! Double savat kick and Gordon his the ground!

(CUTTO: Ramey flying off the top rope and nailing Beachy with a dropkick!)

(Crowd POPS)

(CUTTO: Beachy flying over the top rope and onto the floor.)

JS: Young doesn’t know what’s going on!

MJ: No, he’s a bit of a moron Juan. A little decorum in the ring, please.

JS: Ramey has seen enough and he’s working over Murray as Young desperately counts. Ramey sends Murray across the ring into the ropes, the Ring Nightmares with a double clothesline attempt, but Murray ducks and bounces off the ropes, double clothesline of his own, BUT THE NIGHTMARES DODGE THE ATTEMPT! DOUBLE DROPKICK!

(CUTTO: Ramey going out of the ring and laughing at Carl Young.)

JS: Gordon has Murray up and throws him head first into the turnbuckle! Pat Jr, the second generation wrestler rocks Murray with some big right handed shots! BULLDOG OUT OF THE CORNER!

MJ: Yes yes he was born into wealth, born into this country. Some of us Juan make our own luck!

JS: Gordon with a quick tag and this crowd explodes! Ramey in and he drops Murray with a left cross!

(CUTTO: Beachy back up and on the ring apron. Ramey clotheslines him off the apron!)

(CUTTO – CLOSE – UP SHOT: Beachy flying off the apron and hitting the security railing hard.)

JS:  Snap suplex from Ramey! And a hot tag! Gordon barely had time to get out of the ring and now he’s going to the top rope, Manny! The Ring Nightmares looking to continue their winning ways!

MJ: One more for the Americans. Yes, yes let’s just give them everything, please.

JS: What the hell are you talking about?

(CUTTO:  Gordon perched on the top rope. Ramey has Murray on his shoulders! FLYING SHOULDERBLOCK!)

JS: What a move! The way Murray’s head snapped back, he might have broken a neck. Gordon covers!


(CUTTO: Bronte Lakes in the ring, pulling Gordon off her man!)

JS: That’s a DQ right there!

MJ: Oh Juan a blizzard is such a tasty treat.

(CUTTO: Jesse Ramey flashing a devilish smile at the crowd as he looks at Bronte. Lakes SLAPS Gordon right in the face!)

JS: Carl Young showing some restraint not to end this match right here. Gordon grabs Lakes! He and Ramey bounce her off the ropes and send her across the ring!

(CUTTO: Beachy reaching under the ropes and pulling Lakes down and out of the ring.)

(Crowd GROANS.)

MJ: There are few occasion when its ok to hit a woman, Juan.

JS: There’s never one!

MJ: Lorena Bobbitt.

JS: Yes, I would have killed the---


(CUTTO: Jason Murray behind the Nightmares double nut shotting the two men.)

JS: I apologize we seemed to have lost power briefly.  JASON MURRAY OFF THE ROPES DOUBLE DDT!

(CUTTO: Beachy racing to the top of one turnbuckle and Murray climbing another!)

JS: POINT OF VIEW ready to fly off the ropes! DOUBLE SWANTON DIVE! Both men miss! (POP) Young pushes Ramey out of the ring, its Gordon and Murray. Gordon with a small package…

(Manny laughs.)


MJ: Small package Juan, really?

JS: Pat Jr. locks Murray into an abdominal stretch! Jason reeling in pain! By rights they should have already lost this match when Bronte Lakes overstepped her bounds!

MJ: If she’s out of the kitchen, she’s over her bounds.

JS: Murray manages to hip toss Gordon over! (CUTTO: Jason  diving back and tagging in Beachy!) Eric into the ring before Gordon can tag Ramey! Beachy with a clothesline to the back of Gordon’s head! And how he’s taunting Ramey! Jesse into the ring but Young bear hugs him.

MJ: Now Young offers discipline and restraint.

JS: Both Beachy and Murray beating on Gordon! Come on Young this is ridiculous! Beachy fires Gordon into the ropes and catches him…SIDE SLAM! (CUTTO: Beachy in a flash leaping for the middle ropes.) LIONSAULT FOR BEACHY but Gordon with his feet up and Eric doubles over in pain! (POP) Can he make the tag Manny?

MJ: That’s the most pressing question you have in your life right now, Juan?

JS: Gordon to his feet…he’s close! (CUTTO: Lakes jumping on the ring apron and almost immediately Young there to meet her!)

(crowd POPS.)

JS: THERE’S THE TAG! Ramey into the ring and he drops Beach with a big shot! What?! (CUTTO: Young ordering Ramey back out of the ring!) That boob didn’t’ see the tag, you’ve got to be kidding!

MJ: Such Moxy from this young lady. Manny always in need of another wife. Mmmm.

JS: That’s enough out of you. Ramey is beside himself. I would be too. Beachy makes the tag --- THAT ONE Young allows. Murray into the ring and he drags Gordon back to their corner, laughing as he goes!

(CUTTO: Murray and Beachy whipping Gordon across the ropes DOUBLE BACK DROP!)

JS: Murray leaps off his feet and he’s straddling Gordon’s shoulders…FRANK’N’PARSONS maybe? No! Gordon grabs Murray’s arms won’t let him get leverage…POWERBOMB!! (POP) Pat Jr. in need of a tag! Gordon to his feet!

(CUTTO: Bronte Lakes to the apron again.)

(CUTTO: Gordon grabbing the top rope a few feet next to her and pulling the rope to her, thus catapulting her into the ring!)


JS: Gordon has Murray and Lakes….and he KNOCKS THEIR HEADS TOGETHER! Pat Jr. dives and backs the TAG!!


MJ: Oh Juan listen to this place, Bieber Fever tonight!

JS: Ramey catches Murray, BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! Beachy is in the ring! (CUTTO: Lakes holding her forehead, sliding out under the ropes.) Gordon with a kick to Eric’s gut! And he sends him out of the ring!

MJ: These people don’t want to see anymore of this. They want to hear Manny SING!

JS: Nobody willingly wants to hear you sing, just sayin’.



JS: NO! Murray pulled his knees up and Ramey is sucking wind!

MJ: Better Juan than…


MJ: Too much?

JS: Just no.

(CUTTO: Murray on his feet and nailing Ramey with a right hand that sends Jesse against the ropes.)

JS: I thought that was the end but Murray somehow countered. Jason whips Jesse into the corner! Running leg drop in the corner!

MJ: Four tacos for a dollar Juan, my cousin has a taco cart that’s making its way near the arena. Just sayin.

(CUTTO: Gordon entering the ring, but the ref sends him back.)

JS: Jason Murray headed to the top rope. (Fans stand.) Murray on the top, sink or swim with this move Juan! DOUBLE MOONSAULT! (POP) What a move. Murray covers! ONE….

(CUTTO: Ramey’s left foot on the bottom rope.)


MJ: A dollar Juan and you’re going to turn your nose up at that.

(CUTTO: Eric Beachy slapping Ramey’s foot off the ropes.)


 (Crowd stands with about a 50/50 approval rating.)

JS: POINT OF VIEW have done it!

RHUBARB JONES: Ladies and Gentlemen the winners of the match, POINT OFFFFFF VIEW!!

(CUTTO: Beachy and Lakes outside the ring beside themselves.)

JS: We'll be back right after this!

Marcus Johnson vs. Kevin Watson


JS: Welcome back to CSWA Versus! Fans I’m joined for this match by CSWA Hall of Famer Bill Parsons! Bill, welcome to VERSUS!

(CUTTO: Bill sitting next to John with a headset and a huge smile.)

BP: Thanks John. It’s great to be back in the CSWA and specifically doing play by play with you on short notice! Manny…

JS: I told Manny he was performing “God Bless America” after this match. He’s in the back warming up his pipes. I know its bad, Bill, and I ask you not to judge me, but I deal with him the most. I need the break.

BP: Preaching to the choir.

JS: I hear the man may have wrapped himself in the American flag -- and that might be all he's wearing.  Next up, Kevin Watson gets a bit of a tune-up, if you will … before his upcoming attempt to reclaim the Greensboro Championship.

BP: Which he never lost, to be fair.

JS: True, but tonight the title is not a factor and he will be facing former "Role Model" turned "The Hero" Marcus Johnson! And if Marcus Johnson can walk away with a victory here, I’d have to believe he would be next in line for the a shot at the Greensboro title. Especially if, Watson can defeat Cameron Cruise; who narrowly defeated Mark Windham on our last edition of Versus.

BP: Watson has a bit of an attitude as of late, but honestly … I think that is just what it takes sometimes.

RHUBARB JONES: This contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring at this time... Kevin Watson!

(Kevin pulls at the ropes in the corner in practically the same gear as his last appearance on CSWA television; black hooded sweatshirt, tattered jean shorts and black boots. The old CSWA Greensboro laying his corner just under the turnbuckle.)

RJ: His opponent hails from Tampa, Florida, standing 6 feet, 4 inches, and weighing 250 pounds... this is "THE HERO" MARCUS JOHNSON!

(CUE UP: "Hero" by Chad Kroeger and Josey Scott. "THE HERO" MARCUS JOHNSON steps onto the ramp to polite applause.)

JS: “The Hero” Marcus Johnson will make his way to ring now as Kevin Watson readies himself inside the squared circle. Bill, you’ll remember Marcus made his re-debut in Atlanta on PrimeTime last week; defeating  Brian "Bobcat" Brunzell.

BP: And like I said then, he's going to have to prove himself. Last week he did just fine against a young up-and-comer but this week he has one of the veterans who didn't take an extended vacation.

JS: Marcus Johnson - now in the ring, and we should see the referee call the bell.

(SFX: Bell rings. Kevin Watson and Marcus Johnson move toward the middle of the ring and each other.)

JS: Based on what we saw out of Marcus Johnson last week and what we’ve seen from Watson in the past, this should be somewhat of a suplex clinic.

BP: Speaking of the clinic …

JS: And here we go, collar and elbow tie up in the center of the ring. Side head lock by Marcus Johnson.

(Kevin Watson drags the weight of the two backwards a few steps and lays into the ropes.)

JS: The bigger man shot off, Watson follows. Johnson hits the ropes and big shoulder block runs down Kevin Watson with ease! Johnson’s size advantage is an important factor here, Bill. Watson may have bit off more than he can chew. Veteran or not.

(Marcus Johnson pulls Watson to his feet and attempts to send him into the ropes.)

BP: Not so fast!

JS: Watson with the reversal. Marcus Johnson off the ropes, Watson swings for the clothesline.

(Marcus Johnson folds up and ducks the clothesline. He hits the opposing ropes as Watson’s force spins him around to face the returning Johnson.)

JS: Marcus Johnson off the ropes and he lands his own clothesline on Kevin Watson!

BP: Decent start.

JS: Johnson pulling Watson to his feet now; wasting no time. Snap suplex, and a cover... only two!

BP: Shades of PRIMETIME in Atlanta, if memory serves me correctly, John-boy.

(Johnson shakes off the failed pin attempt and continues his offensive with a few boots to his opponent.)

JS: Watson rolling out of the danger zone.

(Kevin Watson rolls out onto the apron. Johnson follows but is reprimanded by the referee. He backs off instantly and doesn’t mince words with the official.)

JS: Watson pulling himself to his feet now and I would imagine he is trying to shake off a less than spectacular start to this match up.

BP: That’s a veteran move. If you don’t like the pace … slow it down. They will work at your pace or no pace.

(Watson steps through the ropes; ruJSing his shoulder and moving his head side to side - cracking his neck.)

JS: Watson back inside now and Johnson is on the ready. They lock, up once again.

(Watson turns out of the lock up before it’s fully committed and throws a knee into Johnson’s midsection. Johnson doubles over.)

JS: Big knee from Watson. Elbow to the back of the neck and Johnson meets the mat for the first time in this bout.

BP: Textbook, John. Kevin Watson is showing all the signs of weathered champion here tonight.

JS: Watson now on the offense.

(Watson pulls Johnson to his feet and lays a right hand for good measure before clutching Johnson by the midsection.)

JS: Watson favors the overhead/release variety suplexes and … there it is. Belly to belly suplex.

BP: No need to let up now.

JS: Watson, with a few boots of his own.

(The official attempts to intervene and wave Watson off. Watson complies but as the referee backs off he gets one more quick boot in before reaching down to pull Johnson up.)

JS: Watson brings Johnson to his feet. Brings him in... and DDT! Watson covers for the pin, one … only one! Johnson isn’t going to give in that easy!

BP: You’ve got to admire the man’s tenacity... but after nine years …  I don’t think he can pull this one off. Watson is no - Brian Brunzell.

JS: Watson back on the attack, irish whip - short arm clothesline and this one connects!

(Johnson hits the mat hard but attempts to pull himself to his feet rather quickly.)

BP: The man has fight. Nearly back to his feet, Watson measures his opponent in the corner.

(Marcus Johnson steadies himself by a hand and slowly rises vertical. Kevin Watson side steps and lunges forward with a Standing Side Kick.)

JS: No! Johnson ducks it!

(Both spin and meet each other in the middle the ring. Marcus Johnson throws a few well placed punches and clutches Kevin Watson around the midsection.)

JS: And Johnson returns with a belly to belly of his own!

BP: Suplex clinic, John? Or a belly to belly clinic?

JS: Either way these two aren’t giving each other an inch!

BP: Johnson needs to capitalize right here.

JS: “The Hero” forces Watson up!

(Johnson spins a dazed Watson around and locks hold around his neck arching Watson’s back.)

JS: Looks like the “Hero Conquers All!”

BP: This height difference just isn’t going to do it though. He has to get Watson down to his knees.

(Watson squirms to stay on two feet and to get a hand between Johnson’s arm and his own neck.)

JS: If Watson loses his footing this is all over just like last week on PrimeTime in Atlanta!

(Kevin Watson continues to struggle as Johnson kicks at the back of his knees that seem to be just out of reach given the angle of Watson’s torso.)

BP: It’s make or break time right here! Johnson either gets Watson off his feet and or he’s got to give in and just cause whatever damage he can. Watson has been between these ropes for two long … given enough time he will figure something out!

(The official checks with Watson and is hysterically waved off. Johnson sinches the hold up tighter and grabs a hold of Watson’s waistband with his free hand.)

BP: This should be interesting.

(Johnson jerks back and completely flips Watson over and sends him crashing to the mat.)

JS: Inverted vertical suplex!

BP: No, that’s over the shoulder three fourths front face head lock cutter.

JS: No that’s a Dragon Sleeper Cutter? Whatever it is … that should put Watson AWAY!

(Johnson rolls over for the cover.)

JS: One! Two …

BP: Only two! It’s not over and once again … Johnson better realize it’ll take more than that to put away Watson and capitalize on what damage he has inflicted.

JS: And it looks like he may. Kevin Watson attempting to recover as Johnson sets back in. Watson - vertical. Johnson - throws a right, a left … Watson is on rubber legs.

(Johnson grasps Watson by the head under his right arm and grabs a hold of his waistband.)

JS: Pulls him up for a stalled out vertical suplex! Look at the strength of Marcus Johnson!

BP: Not so fast, John! Watson’s got those legs moving!

(Marcus losing balance inadvertently allows Watson back down onto his feet. He reassures his grip on Kevin’s waistband and jerks back yet again. Kevin slips his right leg behind Johnson’s left.)

JS: Watson blocks it!

(Marcus jerks again attempting the move.)

JS: This snap suplex is no go!

(Kevin, still in Marcus’ grasp, lays in a punch to the midsection to soften up the hold.)

BP: This isn’t looking good for “The Hero.”

(Kevin delivers another and follows by clenching Johnson around the waist and swinging the leg used to block back around and placing his feet.)

JS: Northern Light Suplex! Watson bridges for the pin! One … two … NO! Johnson is able to muscle out. What a reversal by Watson.

BP: What did I say, John? You can’t take nine years off and expect to put away a Greensboro champion so easily!

JS: Former, Bill. Former.

BP: Whatever, the man just launched all of those two hundred and fifty pounds and bridged it!

JS: Yet, was unable to get the pinfall. A feat which will be extremely important considering the stipulation set on the Greensboro title now in the new CSWA!

BP: You’re talking about a man who hasn’t taken more than two nights off in the past five years, John. Bingo halls, armories and what not. That is dedication... I mean you wouldn’t catch me dead in them, personally... but hey, it’s commendable.

JS: Your adoration aside, this match is far from over. Kevin Watson is back on the attack and pulls Marcus Johnson from the canvas.

(Watson holds a reeling Marcus Johnson by the hair and lays a forearm down on his shoulder blades and neck. Johnson’s knees give from under him but Watson doesn’t let loosen his grip as the official continues to warn him about the hair.)

JS: Watson doesn’t seem to have much respect for the man officiating this competition. Which seems to be par for the course for his entire career not to mention his attitude as of late.

BP: Attitude or not, John … the man seems to be producing results here.

(Kevin draws Marcus’ head under his right arm and locks it around his neck. He follows by slining Marcus’ right arm over his own neck and reaches for the right knee.)

JS: Look’s like we could see a Fisherman’s Suplex here.

BP: Perfect.

(Watson jerks his opponent skyward. Instead of using his momentum to fall directly backwards he drops down to the mat somewhere between; a calculated decision and an exhausted collapse.)

JS: Oh my. Fisherman suplex brainbuster!

BP: Devastating maneuver. This should be all she wrote. John.

JS: It could be but Kevin Watson is not going for the pin. He looks worse for wear himself.

BP: Bill, I wouldn’t expect you to understand. Inside that ring, you have to take the breather when you can get it. It’s all about operating at your own pace like I said before. The trick is knowing when you can afford the time versus allowing your opponent to recover... but at this point I don’t think we will be seeing anything spectacular out of Marcus Johnson.

(Kevin begins to stir.)

JS: That maybe, but the official has begun the count and one of them better find the will or way to rise from the ashes of that maneuver quickly.

BP: Marcus Johnson, showing signs of life …

JS: Watson is struggling to make it to a knee as the official reaches four.

(Marcus Johnson rolls over and starts to push himself up but his arms give out and winds up back on that mat. The official calls out “five” just as Watson’s wobbly foot slips from under him and he hits the mat again, himself.)

JS: Looks like we’re looking at a double knockout here, folks.

BP: Don’t count Watson out yet. They don’t just hand that belt to anyone.

(The official announces the sixth stroke in this countdown to finality as Marcus Johnson manages to make it his knees holding his head and neck.)

JS: Johnson on the rise!

BP: John … really? So crass.

JS: What?

(The count reaches seven and finds Johnson pulling himself up the adjacent set of ropes and Kevin Watson back to one planted foot and one knee.)

JS: This is coming down to the wire for these two folks.

(“Eight!” rings out as Johnson has made it to his tip toes while hung over the top rope trying to find solid footing. Kevin Watson stands on both feet but is still utilizing a well place right hand on the mat before he can go vertical.)

BP: Watson is up!

JS: Not quite, Bill.

(Watson pushes against the mat and throws himself up. He woJSles slightly but maintains and the count ends mid way through nine as the referee checks with Watson to assure he is able to compete. Watson waves him off as Marcus Johnson finds his footing but has yet to let go of the top rope.)

BP: That is a ready and able opponent. Let’s go!

JS: Watson back on the attack, and from behind no less.

(Watson reaches over Johnson’s shoulders and grabs a hold.)

JS: Watson with a Cobra Clutch! Once he works Johnson back to this center of the ring, undoubtedly he will attempt to apply the leg scissors and as it’s been duJSed the “Tap Out” is sure to follow.

BP: Told you so, John.

(With the Cobra Clutch locked in Kevin Watson starts to walk Marcus Johnson back but Johnson holds on to the top rope with his free hand. The official calls for the rope break and begins the five count.)

JS: Johnson isn’t out of this one yet!

BP: This is simply desperation at this point.

JS: Kevin Watson has pushed his luck with this official and this may be the straw that broke the camels back!

(The official continues his count and on four Watson is able to snatch Johnson back from the rope and instead of further applying the submission hold - lunges back.)

JS: Tap Out Suplex! Tap Out Suplex!

(SFX: The bell rings.)

BP: What the … ?

JS: Well folks, it appears …

RHUBARB JONES: Ladies and gentleman, this bout has reached a Time Limit Draw!

(Kevin Watson questions and harrasses the official about the decision as Johnson recovers.)

JS: Well, there you have it. Unfortunately... we won’t see a definitive end to this match as we’ve reached it’s allowed time limit tonight. Watson has his matchup approaching with Cameron Cruise and I have my doubts as to how ready he really is.

BP: The real story here, John … is how Marcus Johnson comes up short against the workhorse, Kevin Watson. We saw first hand the effects of nine years away from the ring tonight in Johnson and if you ask me Watson’s ready when the stakes are raised against Cruise.

JS: Only time will tell, Bill. Until then, we’ll be back with more CSWA action!


New Face In The Crowd

(CUT TO: BILL PARSONS, now back in the ring, wearing his CSWA Blazer over a white dress shirt, red tie, grey dress pants. He still looks in good shape despite the years of not participating – full head of hair, etc. He stands at the top of the entrance ramp with a microphone in his hand.)
PARSONS: Well, Pensacola— (The crowd, naturally, cheers at the city’s name.) Up next is a VERY interesting interview request. I’m quite curious to see how this one goes. The man about to come out now has become a VERY controversial figure in professional wrestling over the past two years. Ladies and gentlemen—
(The lights go BLACK as the CSWAVISION screen starts to pulsate.)
(CUE UP: The first kick drums of “That’s Not My Name” by The Ting Tings. The two verses start as the crowd starts to buzz. Then:
“But with nothing to consider the forget my name… ame… ame…
The CSWAVISION screen goes black as the volume of the music dips. And then the letter J appears on the screen in neon green (circa Fresh Prince of Bel Air) followed by another and then DEVILLE underneath in the same color.

A series of four roman candle flares go off before the lights go back on. And there, next to Parsons, stands JJ DEVILLE! His long, brown hair is down fully, a bit wet. He has a scraggly brown beard that’s unkempt but in a cool, sorta hip manner. JJ’s wearing a shirt that reads THAT IS INDEED MY NAME with the CSWA logo underneath it. He’s singing along with the words as the crowd goes NUTS – a lot of cheers, along with some garbage.

Parsons ducks a soda can and has a worried look. JJ does too but motions for the crowd to settle down.)
DEVILLE: Hey, Pensacollllaaaa!
PARSONS: You’re in an awfully good mood considering you just got hit with about 5 pounds of garbage!
(JJ smiles and shakes his head.)
DEVILLE: Well, I am in a good mood, Parsons. And do you know why? It’s because the CSWA is BACK! (The crowd erupts again as JJ claps his hands and makes a fist pump, followed by a Pete Townsend guitar windmill but garbage continues to be thrown.)
PARSONS: Well, JJ, it is indeed that. But in other promotions… well… you’ve certainly made a name for yourself… and NOT in a good way!
(JJ nods in agreement.)
DEVILLE: Right you are, Bill. And I want to explain that to everyone. You see… I grew up in Greensboro, just a few blocks from the Merritt Auditorium. I used to go every damn weekend with my grandpop to see Showtime and Primetime and all the rest. I’d wait out in the parking lot to get the autographs of Hornet and Mark Windham and even Joey Melton. Hell, Fish Fund was like a national holiday in my house! My whole life – all I wanted to do was become a CSWA wrestler. I was a scrawny kid and… well, as the daisy dukes from back in the day would tell you… I didn’t exactly ‘get it.’ But I worked my ass off and ended up getting a look… and then became Eddy Love and Troy Windham’s—“ (POP! JJ pauses in curiosity.) “Personal assistant… and my career took off! The CSWA, Bill… this isn’t just some wrestling league. This is the GRAND DADDY of professional leagues. This is where it all started. And I’m SO SO GLAD that I get to say that I am a wrestler here.
(The crowd continues to make a lot of noise as JJ looks around. He pounds is heart with his fist.)
PARSON: So, yes, the CSWA is home. But what about NFW? What about all the things you’ve done there? You’re considered by most people in the industry to be the biggest villain today!
(JJ nods again and pauses contemplatively. He purses his lips… and then stops to laugh.)
DEVILLE: Yeah, about that. Yes, I am a wrestler in another promotion. Most of us work freelance and that’s why you’ll see us pop up in other promotions. That’s just how our business works. And, yes, I’ll continue to be in other promotions. And I’ve done some bad, bad, bad things in that other promotion. But that’s what I do in that other promotion. I’ve got a lot of problems with a LOT of people in NFW. But that’s down in NFW. But the CSWA? Like I said – this league is my HOME. (The crowd starts applauding again.) And I’m going to treat MY HOME with the respect it deserves! This place is founded on hard work and integrity. And I swear to you, with my mom who passed away five years ago looking down above me…”(JJ looks up to the sky.) There will be NO ONE who will work HARDER and no one who will have more integrity in this promotion than YOURS TRULY JJ DEVILLE! ANNNNND YES THAT IS INNDEED MY REAL NAME!
(The crowd ERUPTS as JJ finishes this version of his catchphrase. JJ claps along and points.)
PARSON: So, JJ, I guess we can expect for you to throw your name into the World Title picture?
DEVILLE: Well, duh. It’s been my dream since the age of 5 to be a wrestler here in the CSWA. And if you’re in the CSWA, your goal should – HAS TO BE – winning the big one! But you know what? I’m not going to force my hand in some power play, like I’ve done elsewhere. I’m going to EARN my spot and EARN my keep. And not just that… I’m going to make sure OTHERS do as well. If you try and take shortcuts or cheap shots here… well, then you’re going to have to answer to ME in that locker room! And I know that I’m not the most intimidating of guys. I’m not built like Dan Ryan or any of that stuff. But what I want to become is the HEART AND SOUL of the CSWA! And I will not tolerate anyone soiling and-or besmirching this league’s legacy. (JJ looks around as the crowd is really applauding him. He even has a few tears in his eyes.) And I hope everyone GETS the message. And this message was brought to you by the letter J!
(JJ stomps his foot as he says that. And he does it again, mouthing ‘J” again. The crowd starts to pick up on it.)
CROWD: “J! J! J! J! J! J!”
(JJ hops down the aisle to a little kid at ringside. He tussles the kids hair and then gives a hug to a plump teenager. “That’s Not My Name” starts to pipe in as the crowd continues its chant.)
PARSONS: Well, folks, there you have it! JJ DeVille, who has made a name for himself in this industry as one of its biggest villains… has promised to do the exact opposite here in the CSWA!

Unified Tag Tournament: Boogie Smallz and Malcolm Joseph-Jones vs. Team VIAGRA


(CUTTO: John Simons at the broadcast booth, looking annoyed. A few feet over Manual Juarez proudly sits at the Spanish language booth.)

JS: Welcome back to VERSUS fans, it’s time for tonight’s Main Event. Manny, what the –

MJ: Es el momento para la noche del evento principal!

JS: I’m sorry?

MJ: Usted es un cerdo podrida puede morir una muerte lenta.

JS: Stop it! Is this going to go on all night?

MJ: Su esposa dice que soy toda la noche!

JS: Oh good grief.

(CUEUP: “Jizz In My Pants” by Lonely Island. Tony Davis and Jack Harmen step onto the stage before walking down the ramp to the ring, accompanied by Mary-Lynn Mayweather.)

RHUBARB JONES: Approaching the ring, at a combined weight of 480 pounds, here are JACK HARMEN and TONY DAVIS….TEAM VIAGRA!

(Team VIAGRA enter the ring and stretch on the ring ropes as they soak in the cheers from the crowd.)

JS: Manny, this is a rematch of last week’s VERSUS when these two days fought their way to a DOUBLE DQ! There was certainly no love lost between the two teams that’s for sure. All four men really went after each other! If there’s any hangover from last week’s encounter I’m not sure how much wrestling there will be in tonight’s match!

MJ: Y hablando de resaca, Juan permítanme decirles…

JS: Can someone cut his mic please?

(CUTTO: CSWAVision.)

JS: Let’s take a look at how Boogie Smallz introduced his new partner last week!

(CUEUP: “Black Superman” by Above The Law. Boogie Smallz steps onto the stage to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He walks down the ramp and to the ring.)

RA: And one-half of their opponents this evening. Standing 6 feet 9 inches and weighing in at 300 pounds. Hailing from Brooklyn, New York…here is BOOGIE SMALLZ!

(Boogie steps into the ring and Team VIAGRA step onto the arena floor to discuss strategy as Smallz asks for the microphone to address the audience.)

BOOGIE SMALLZ: Ya know, it was just about 15 years ago that I stepped foot for the first time in the CSWA, as an 18 year old kid who had his life in front of him. In that time, I saw a lot of things happen, a lot of changes, but regardless of those changes…ONE THING was a constant in this company…ME! (Pauses.) Sure, I went out of the CSWA and had a tremendous amount of success workin’ for other companies, but somethin’ ALWAYS brought me back here.

So when I heard the announcement of the CSWA opening its doors once again, much like the Godfather…once I get out…they pull me back in! And even though I wasn’t booked for Blue Moon, I knew I wanted to be on the very next show to kick things off because a CSWA without Boogie Smallz is like Christmas without Santa…something’s off. It doesn’t have that certain intangible that it needs for it to be a success. In a lot of ways, I feel like the heart and soul of this organization.

(Smallz is giving an emotional filled speech and the fans are cheering him on for his words.)

JM (V/O): Is he full of himself or what?

BB (V/O): Let him finish, maybe he is going somewhere with this.

JM (V/O): Wherever he is going, he needs to hurry it up and introduce his partner. This is taking forever.

SMALLZ : But enough of me and my trip down memory lane. Are you fans ready to find out who my tag team partner is tonight?

(The crowd cheers in response.)

SMALLZ: Let me just say, I couldn’t have been the success I have been in my career without him. For years we traveled the road together, went overseas, we are almost like brothers. And I couldn’t come back here to the CSWA without him joinin’ me.

(CUEUP: “Bonfire” by Childish Gambino. The lights in the arena cut off and after a few seconds a spotlight shines onto the stage to reveal…)

BB: INFERNO ICE! Ice is back! Boogie’s former tag team partner is in the building! The HIP HOP EXPRESS is back! This crowd loves every minute of it!

JM: I liked them better as the Disco Express. Boogie Man and Disco Inferno tore things up against some of the classic CSWA teams. And now reunited to face a new generation of foes.

BB: The last time I saw Inferno, he was wrestling for Las Vegas Wrestling. A show that was once televised on ESEN and he was going by his real name, “Inferno” Carmine Esposito.

JM: I vaguely remember that.

(The lights in the arena cut on and Inferno makes his way down the ramp, but Boogie gives the hand sign for his to wait on the ramp. The music stops and Smallz begins to speak.)

SMALLZ: (Smiling.) Man…you have been there for me through thick and thin, ride or die.

(The audience is chanting “H-H-E” for the reuniting of the Hip Hop Express.)

SMALLZ: (Boogie stops smiling and his facial expression changes to an evil scowl.) But you decided to call it quits at the height of our tag team success. You decided to move on and try to raise a kid with some ring rat. And how did that turn out for you, Carmine? How did things work out for you with that decision?

(CUTTO Inferno Ice standing on the ramp looking confused at Boogie’s remarks.)

BS: I tried to convince you to come back. I did all I could to keep us together as a team when we still had some momentum. But you turned your back on me! You didn’t think about me, you only thought about yourself! So from here on out, I’m takin’ the same route with you.

(CUTTO: Inferno on the ramp mouthing to Boogie “what’s this all about.” Boogie runs his hand across his neck in a cut-throat motion. A man charges onto the ramp and attacks Inferno Ice from behind.)

BB: What’s this all about? Who is that?

JM: Something tells me that THAT is Boogie’s new partner. How did he get Denzel Washington to tag with him?

BB: That’s not, Denzel. It’s MALCOLM JOSEPH-JONES! A recent signee to the CSWA and he is putting a beat down on Inferno Ice. Boogie now steps out of the ring and onto the floor, where the melee between Joseph-Jones and Inferno has ended up.

(Boogie taps Joseph-Jones on the shoulder and he lets up on his kicks to Inferno. Smallz still has the microphone in his hand.)

SMALLZ: Inferno, you are the last link to my past. A past I turned my back on when you left. A past that I must erase in order to go on with my future in the CSWA. You are dead to me!

(Smallz begins stomping on Inferno Ice and Malcolm Joseph-Jones joins into the ruckus. Referees and EMT’s hit the scene to try and help Inferno Ice, but the damage has been done. Boogie and Malcolm step into the ring to a chorus of boos from the crowd.)

SMALLZ: I’m a new man, I have a new lease on life, and that Boogie of old is dead and gone. My new partner and I have a plan. We want those Unified World tag team titles and will stop at nothin’ to achieve our goal. Ladies and gentlemen, the URBAN LEGENDS are here to serve notice to ANY AND ALL wrestlers in the CSWA! Tonight, MJ2 and myself make an example out of Team VIAGRA…and give them a taste of what they will be facin’ when the tournament for the tag titles starts up! BELIEVE ‘DAT!

(CUTTO: LIVE! Team VIAGRA waiting in the ring, playing rock, paper, scissors!)

(CUEUP: “Black Superman” by Above The Law. Boogie Smallz steps onto the stage to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He walks down the ramp and to the ring.)

RHUBARB JONES: And their opponents this evening. Standing 6 feet 9 inches and weighing in at 300 pounds. Hailing from Brooklyn, New York…here is BOOGIE SMALLZ! And his tag team partner…from Jackson, Mississippi, he’s 6’6 and 269 lbs….MALCOLM JOSEPH-JONES! They are the URBAN LEGENDS!

(CUTTO: The Urban Legends running down to the ring and sliding under the bottom rope! Davis and Harmen finish their game, Harmen wins with Rock and steps out of the ring. Davis takes on both men and is being pummeled.)

JS: Jones and Smallz doing a number on Tony Davis!


MJ: Justicia callejera, Juan.

JS: This is to make it to semi-finals of the Unified Tag Team Tournament! I think Davis and Harmen are trying to move through by DQ!!

(CUTTO: Carl Young stepping in between the Legends and Tony Davis, warning both men they’ll be DQ’d in a heartbeat.)

JS: Finally, Young gets control and its Boogie the veteran and Davis one on one! Tony is already worked over like day old bread. Boogie whips Davis into the corner!

MJ: Al igual que su esposa le gusta ser azotado Juan.

JS: Heavy right hands by Boogie! Smallz with a kick to Davis’ gut! The Legends have come out on a mission tonight! Quick tag and in comes the lumbering rooking! MJJ!

MJ: Theo todos crecido!

JS: Davis shot off the ropes, DOUBLE SHOUDLERBLOCK! Here’s the cover! ONE! TWO! No! Davis up just in time! (CUTTO:           Quick pan of the audience, loving every second of the action.)

(CUTTO: MJ2 executing a perfect snap suplex! He stands and towers over Davis, then drops a elbow across Tony’s chest!)

JS: Side-headlock from MJ2! (CUTTO: Boogie taunting Harmen.) Davis gets to his feet! He drives an elbow into Malcolm’s stomach! Another! ONE MORE! And the hold is broken, STANDING DROPKICK FROM DAVIS! It’s just swatted away by MJ2! Jones picks up Davis by his throat!

MJ: Ella es la parte de la alianza rebelde y traidor!


(CUTTO: Davis rolling across the ring and tagging in Jack Harmen!)


JS: Here comes The Big fly! Jack Harmen!

(We see rows of fans standing genuinely drunk or ecstatic Harmen is laying waste to both Boogie and MJ2.)

JS: Harmen has both men by the back of the neck and bangs their heads together! (POP!) (CUTTO: Harmen looking the two staggering then reaching for Davis who’s just gone outside the ropes and headbutting his partner! Harmen staggers back and now all three men in the ring are on weak knees.)

MJ: Él es inteligente o es como yo Juan?

JS: Jack sends Boogie over the top rope! Now Davis is in the ring and he sends MJ2 for a quick flight! (CUTTO: Team VIAGRA playing rock, paper, scissors. Both men put down p aper and shrug.) VIAGRA off the ropes...FLYING BODY PRESS OUTSIDE!

MJ: (singing) Yo creo que puedo volar....

(SPLIT SCREEN INSTANT REPLAY: Floor shot of Boogie and MJ2 being taken to the floor!)

JS: Harmen has Boogie up on his feet. His partner…Manny what’s he doing? Don’t answer! (CUTTO: Davis holding up the ring steps.) Harmen irish whip’s Smallz into the elevated ring steps!

(CUTTO: MJ2 clubbing Jack from behind.)

JS: Jones responds! Look out!

(CUTTO: Davis jumping off the ring steps and Lou Thez pressing Jones to the floor! Harmen quickly counts.)

JS: One….Two..wait, what am I doing?

MJ: Cuántas veces he pedido que, Juan?

JS: Boogie with a (SFX: CRACK!) wicked chair shot from behind! And Harmen folds like origami! (CUTTO: A fan on the front row reaching over to pat Boogie. Smallz turns around and smacks the man’s popcorn from his hands.)

(CUTTO: Smallz scoops up Davis and body slams him on the floor over the chair. Davis reaching for his back in searing pain.)

JS: Boogie rolling Davis under the ropes and back into the ring. These two teams have picked up right where they left off last week!

MJ: La semana pasada? O el año? CS tiempo no se realiza en tiempo real.

JS: Would you cut back over there Manny for crying out loud? Cut his mic Marvin, please!

(CUTTO: Boogie dropping Davis in the ring with a standing vertical suplex!)

JS: Quick tag to Malcolm! Jones leaps over the top rope and buries a hard right hand into Davis’ gut! (CUTTO: The Legends looking at one another then in unison driving their knees into Tony’s stomach and executing a double chokeslam!)

MJ: Just like your wife, Juan, they love the double team.

JS: Hey!

MJ: Nada de inglés! Nada de inglés!

JS: Right! Forget which table you were at huh, hot shot?

(CUTTO: Jones whipping Davis across the ring (SFX: SLAP!) POWER SLAM!)

JS: Harmen elbow drop as Jones covers! Davis reached out and made a sneaky tag! Great move! Fly off the middle rope IMPLANT DDT!


MJ: A cualquier persona a nuestros oídos, quien me pueden escuchar. A mí me encuentro rodeada de idiotas y de una manera más personal tienen un agrandamiento de la próstata. Me has oído Damas.

JS: He covers…TWO COUNT! Boogie rushes in! Harmen with a SPEAR! He points to Davis…they’re going up top!

(CUTTO: Team VIAGRA on opposite turnbuckles. The Urban legends just reach their feet.)


(CUTTO: The Legends catching both men in mid-air.)

MJ: Impresionante, lo más impresionante.

JS: Double fall-away slams! (POP!) The Legends back their men up in corners and they’re going to town!

(CUTTO: Jones nearly knocking Davis out with some serious blows.)

JS: VIAGRA whipped across the ring, No! Both men reverse! And it’s the Urban Legends who collide in the center of the ring!

(CUTTO: Davis hurriedly crouching behind Boogie.)


(CUTTO: Both men falling overthemselves! Davis rolls’em up both!)

JS: The…double pin? ONE…TWO..NO!

MJ: What an effort here tonight by….me! Speaking in two languages and entertaining thousands. Juan, maybe one day you do same.

JS: Young has lost all control in this one, he’s just letting it go.

MJ: And why not Juan? This could be our last show of 2013. Why not go out with a bang.

JS: I’m not talking to you! EVER!

(CUTTO: VIAGRA whipping the Legends across the ring and off the ropes DOUBLE BACKDROP!)

(CUTTO: Boogie hitting the floor but MJ2 landing on his feet.)

JS: DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! What a move by the rookie! The poise and agility! Really nice to see there by the young man.

(CUTTO: Jones lifts Harmen above his head, body pressing the Lunatic! Harmen screams!)


(Jones drops Harmen FACE FIRST onto the canvas.)

JS: The kid showing a little class…BOSTON CRAB!

MJ: Submission move Juan. S&M from the Simon home to CSWA ring!

JS: I am not into tha---NEVERMIND!

(CUTTO: Davis reaching through the ropes and kicking Jones in the face to break the hold!)

JS: Now here comes Smallz! Just when we had an ounce of order…SMALLZ dives through the ropes and takes out Davis!

(CUTTO: Floor shot of Smallz spearing Davis into the floor.)


JS: The crowd is loving this one Manny!

MJ: (inaudible.)

JS: Oh, they cut your mic? Ha! Finally someone listens to me around here.

(CUTTO: While Young is outside trying to save Davis’ life, Mary-Lynn timidly sneaks into the ring with a chair.)

JS: Mayweather, she's apprehensive, but swings at Jones— CAUGHT! That hesitation may be her undoing! Jones he just wrestles the chair from out of her hands and TOSSES it to the canvas!! Jones grabs her by the hair!! Come on!

(Mayweather is kicking and screaming as Jones yanks her across the ring by her hair. Harmen meanwhile, grabs the tossed aside steel chair and uses it to get to his feet.)

MJ: Hello?

JS: OH! MASSIVE chair shot by Harmen! And Jones crumbles to his knees!

(CUTTO: Davis charges toward Boogie, who sends him into the crowd with a back body drop. Boogie gives chase as Davis scrambles to his feet.)

JS: Big brawl on the outside, but inside! Harmen on wobbly legs, but he’s to his feet. Ducks wild right from Jones, GERMAN BRIDGE SUPLEX!

(CUTTO: Young noticing and sliding back into the ring for the count.)

MJ: Carajo han cortado mi mic. Yo te juro matar a alguien.

JS: Is this it…ONE…..TWO………………….THREE!! (POP!) Team VIAGRA has done it Manny!

(CUTTO: Harmen having his hand raised and jumping up and down like he just won the Best Actor Oscar.)

MJ: Yes! Now time for Manny to sing!

JS: Team VIAGRA wins the match Manny and will move on to the Semi-Finals of the UNIFIED WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE TOURNAMENT!

MJ: Esto es mucho decir Juan, solicite a su esposa.

(CUTTO: Boogie and Davis going toe-to-toe in the midst of fans.)

JS: Back to gibberish huh?

MJ: Not gibberish Juan, language of love.

JS: I thought the language of love was when your wife asked me to go through the back door last night…


JS: I heard every word! I speak three languages. Including how to kick ass!

(CUTTO: Manny and John taking off their headsets and starting to go after it!)

(CUTTO: Credits rolling.)


Of Ashes And Men

(FADEIN:  An exterior shot of the Green Valley Mental Wellness Center in Greensboro, North Carolina. It’s a massive two-story building.)

(CUTTO: CSWA owner HORNET standing at the front desk talking quietly with a receptionist.)

HORNET: Room 227?


(A doctor walks up to the conversation.)

DOCTOR: I assume you’re here to see your friend.

HORNET: That’s right.

DOCTOR: I’m afraid he’s had a complete break of reality. The man you once knew no longer exists.

HORNET: You’re kidding…

DOCTOR: Actually yes, yes I am. Sorry, my wife’s out of town visiting her mother this weekend. I’m just a wee bit giddy I suppose.

HORNET: Sure, making fun of my friend’s mental health is what you’d want to see…

DOCTOR: I’m sorry, too soon?

HORNET: Doctor ---

DOCTOR: Ventolo.

HORNET: Doctor Ventolo. The company I represent has brought this facility a large sum of money over the years. I dare say we personally helped build the new East Wing.

DOCTOR: And spent years making light of mental health yourself, if I may say respectfully. You brought Green Valley a lot of attention, most of unwanted, sir. We’re no longer the home for the mentally deranged. We’re a dedicated bunch of professionals who have made their life’s work working with patients to heal their mental wellness. We’ve evolved. Before I grant you access to see your friend, I’d like assurances you—your company has as well.

HORNET: Because I care about your physical health, I’m ending this conversation.  (looks at receptionist) You might want to keep him busy somewhere else until I leave.

(CUTTO: Hornet knocking on the door of room 227. He waits a second but there’s no answer. Finally he turns the knob, pushes the door open and walks inside.)

(CUTTO: Hornet inside the room. He looks distraught. This isn’t the padded cell CSWA fans found P. Vicious or Jack Roiter in, among others. But the site of seeing his friend here makes Hornet uneasy just the same.)

HORNET: Martha told me you admitted yourself last weekend.

MAN O/S: Did she?

HORNET: She was worried about you. We all are.

MAN O/S:  That’s nice. Paul, this isn’t the best time.

HORNET: I know I should have said something sooner, should have seen that you were struggling, but I’ve been so damn busy. I know that’s not a good excuse…

MAN O/S:  It isn’t about you. It’s ok, man.

HORNET: No, its not. You’re my friend. You’re my employee…

MAN O/S: Ah…there it is.

HORNET: You need to get out of here. Come back to work.  We’ll figure this out.

MAN O/S:  Can’t you see that’s the last thing I need? I’m sick, Paul. I’ve known it for years, but people in my family -- we don’t talk about feelings. Hell, we don’t even talk to each other period.

HORNET:  You’re not sick. You’re just afraid you’re alone and you’re not. Let’s just get out of here and get back to work.

MAN O/S:  To what? My own daughter hasn’t talked to me in five years. I remember like yesterday holding her in my arms and knowing my life didn’t matter anymore and now I need a court order to call her cell phone. I’ve ruined her life, man.  And you want me to come back to work? Why?

HORNET:  If you can talk to her, then at last make her turn on the television and see you. Listen, I know that you don’t agree that I brought…

MAN O/S:  Don’t say her name.

HORNET:  If any one knows what’s it like to have history with her, it’s me.  We almost adopted a child together for God’s sake.  But I know she, I know…

MAN O/S:  DON’T SAY HER NAME!  You want me to work in a company she helps run. To be reminded of everything I’ve lost, to watch her talk to the boys and walk on air. To be so close to someone I can’t touch and have to shrink away when her husband and family come in. There’s no sanctuary at work, there never has been, Paul.

HORNET: She cares about you, I know she does. She talks about you.

MAN O/S:  Why did you bring it back from the dead? You should have let that place die.

HORNET:  Stop. That place gave us so much. It gave you so much.

MAN O/S:  What did it give us? It nearly killed you. Hell, a ****ing building fell on your back. It drove you to the bottom of a pillbox. Don’t you see? Just as many dreams as it’s created; it’s ended twice as many. Whatever once was, are just ashes now. There’s nothing left but ghosts. And here you are now with your own money trying to resurrect the dead. But what you don’t realize is what’s dead will stay, SHOULD stay dead and you’re only going to destroy yourself trying to give back the dreams to those who prefer the graveyard.

HORNET: You are crazy, aren’t you?  People die, my friend.  Companies don’t die unless you let them.  There are people’s livelihoods tied up in this, not to mention memories and a tradition…

MAN O/S:  Let it go. Marry that woman and move on. The rest of us have.

HORNET:  You never moved on.  It’s not what you do.  You could have given up on Timmy or Troy – maybe you should have.  But it doesn’t matter.  The company needs you. You have a family and it’s there. I know you can see that. I need your help with this.

MAN O/S: I gave everything to that company once. I lost my soul there. You know I love you, but I can’t go back again. I need peace. I have to get well. I’m a ghost now, like the others.

HORNET: It’ll be twenty-five years in April. Silver anniversary. Your contract says you’re not done yet.

MAN O/S:  You’re going to try and legally make me return?

HORNET: (He pauses, then says as he turns away).  Call it tough love. I’ll be in touch.

(A nurse walks in with fresh flowers.)

NURSE: Looks like someone has a friend.

(HORNET turns back and looks at the man off screen. They share an awkward moment.)

HORNET: What?! They’re not from me…

MAN O/S:  I didn’t say anything…


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