1 Apr 2006 at CSWA Studios
(V/O: In conjunction with CS Enterprises, U-62 is proud to present the new season of the CSWA.)
(CUEUP: "Photograph" by Nickelback as the camera pans into an almost-dark, empty arena. As the song continues, a stop-motion flash-forward shows the arena being setup for a CSWA show. Over the top of the action, scenes from CSWA ANNIVERSARY 2005: CSWA17: Rebirth appear.)
(CUTTO: CSWA owner Stephen Thomas sitting at his desk in his penthouse office above CSWA Auditorium.)
(CUTTO: JA sitting by himself in a spotlight.)
(CUTTO: Bill Buckley and Sammy Benson making their entrance for the crowd.)
(CUTTO: Deacon in the stands with Rudy Seitzer.)
(CUTTO: "Vacant" powerbombing Troy Windham as referee Ben Worthington goes flying.)
(CUTTO: Hornet rolling into the ring and colliding with Vacant.)
(CUTTO: Troy hitting the SLACKKNIFE and rolling on top of Vacant.)
(CUTTO: Former champion Evan Aho on the stage being interviewed by Seitzer.)
(CUTTO: Mike Randalls on the stage, dropping the microphone, as the crowd yells at him.)
(CUTTO: "Superstar" Vince Jacobs superkicking Dan Ryan on the turnbuckle.)
(CUTTO: Ryan hitting the HUMILITY BOMB from the top rope, pumping his fist, and covering Jacobs.)
(CUTTO: 12-year old Mattie Cundiff standing in a small cage as it is raised above the ring.)
(CUTTO: Cameron Cruise standing in front of a curtain of white sparks as he makes his ANNIVERSARY entrance.)
(CUTTO: Cruise with a baseball slide on Boogie Smallz, sending him into the guardrail.)
(CUTTO: CLOSE-UP: Little Mattie standing outside of the cage door, holding onto to the bars for dear life.)
(CUTTO: Boogie Smallz throwing his boot at Mattie, still hanging from the cage.)
(CUTTO: Cruise reaching out to catch his little friend, taking a missile dropkick as he falls.)
(CUTTO: Snow falling from the ceiling of the arena as High Flyer enters the ring.)
(CUTTO: Alias hammering on Flyers ribs repeatedly.)
(CUTTO: Alias hitting the Glasgow Kiss, the cover, and Flyers foot hitting the bottom rope to break it.)
(CUTTO: Flyer hitting the Locomotive, both men tumbling out of the corner, hitting the mat, and pinning each other!)
(CUTTO: Jay Phoenix off the top rope with a spinning somersault onto Jason Payne.)
(CUTTO: Phoenix holding the Presidential Championship above his head.)
(CUTTO: Teri Melton in her blue designer warm up suit with three bodyguards behind her.)
(CUTTO: Poison Ivy stepping through the curtain in her black "Valerians Garden" T-shirt and black jeans.)
(CUTTO: CSWA VP of Security Gregg Gethard stepping out next to Ivy.)
(CUTTO: Greensboro Police escorting Teris bodyguards away from ringside as the crowd cheers.)
(CUTTO: Teri throwing the microphone at Ivys head, only to get kicked to the face for her trouble.)
(CUTTO: Ivy tackling Teri on the rampway, grabbing her by the hair and dragging her back to the ring.)
(CUTTO: Sammy Benson with a worried look on his face after Ivy is downed by a chairshot from the fourth bodyguard coming out of the crowd.)
(CUTTO: Ivy hooking in the Scorpion Deathlock then Teri screaming "I QUIT!")
(CUTTO: Jean Rabesque unstrapping the Greensboro Title from around his waist and handing it to the referee).
(CUTTO: Rabesque hooking in an STF on JA.)
(CUTTO: The KARELIN DRIVER by JA and the cover.)
(CUTTO: JA strapping the Greensboro Title around his waist.)
(CUTTO: Kin Hiroshi bathed in a blue spotlight.)
(CUTTO: Steve Radder adjusting one of the sleeves on his long-sleeved T-shirt as he enters the ring.)
(CUTTO: Radder hitting a suplex then the big screen of CSWAvision turning on to reveal "Good God" Kevin Powers.)
(CUTTO: Hiroshi with the Nagasaki Fat Man sunset flip/piledriver combo and the cover.)
(CUTTO: The standoff between Powers and Radder. As Powers pushes Radder, his sleeve comes away, revealing a hideous scar the length of his forearm.)
(CUTTO: Mark Windham entering the ring as a special referee.)
(CUTTO: Hornet stepping onto the rampway in his hometown, inside the Auditorium he helped build.)
(CUTTO: Eli Flair and Ivy coming through the curtain.)
(CUTTO: Hornet stepping over Eli's leg for the Scorpion, but being blocked by Eli.)
(CUTTO: Eli back-bodydropping Hornet over the top rope.)
(CUTTO: Eli rolling out of the way as Hornet comes off the top with a shooting star press.)
(CUTTO: Eli hooking in the Scorpion Deathlock; Hornet pushing up to break the hold.)
(CUTTO: Hornet's third consecutive Hornet Splash.)
(CUTTO: Eli Flair and Ivy on the rampway as CSWA superstars line the ramp applauding.)
(CUTTO: HUGE pyro going off just as Hornet steps on the stage to exit after his match.)
(CUTTO: SLOW-MO of Vacant doing a 450-splash off the top of CSWAvision onto the downed Hornet.)
(CUTTO: Vacant removing his mask to reveal "The Black Plague" Ruben Ross -- then throwing the mask on top of Hornet.)
(CUTTO: Thousands of flashbulbs going off as Dan Ryan and Troy Windham face off in the middle of the ring.)
(CUTTO: Ryan with a huge belly-to-belly release suplex, sending Troy across the ring.)
(CUTTO: Troy reversing the chokeslam attempt into the Slackknife reverse neckbreaker.)
(CUTTO: Ryan going for the win with the Humility Bomb high angle powerbomb.)
(CUTTO: Troy with a Hornet imitation followed by a shooting star press.)
(CUTTO: Ryan with the full-nelson German suplex and a bridge for the cover.)
(CUTTO: Ryan's springboard dropkick from the top rope to the FLOOR!)
(CUTTO: Ryan snap suplexing Windham through a table.)
(CUTTO: Windham wrapping a steel chair around Dan's head, then Slackknifing Windham using the chair.)
(CUTTO: The final Humility Bomb, with Troy clipping the referee as he is thrown to (and almost through) the mat.)
(CUTTO: The final Slackknife from the top rope and the cover.)
(CUTTO: Quick shots of each CSWA World, and then UNIFIED, Champion in their moment of glory. Some raise the belt above their head, some strap it on. Some kiss it, some embrace it, some simply stare. From Joey Melton to Degadeth to Hornet and on and on to Dan Ryan to Shane Southern
(CUTTO: "The Epitome" Troy Windham grabbing the title from referee Pee Wee Troutman, holding it above his head and collapsing to the mat.)
(CUTTO: Troy bear hugging his brother Mark Windham, then strapping the UNIFIED title around his brother's waist.)
(CUTTO: Mark kicking Troy...dropping him with a Slackknife... and a Humility Bomb... and a piledriver through a table... and a camel clutch...)
(CUTTO: Mark Windham marching up the ramp with the UNIFIED Title still around his waist.)
(CUTTO: UNIFIED World Champion Troy Windham, a bloody mess, with his head through a chair, lying unconscious inside the ring.)
(FADEIN to a bright, shiny television studio. A dark-haired man in his late twenties appears to be going over some final copy with a producer or stage manager, somebody with a large headset over one ear and clipboard in hand, anyway. The lights are down; the two men are backlit by a series of monitors behind them, much like a smaller version of the CSWAvision "video wall" that is used on the PRIMETIME set. Each monitor shows a different scene from the CSWA – some of them appear to be raw footage with editing numbers running underneath, others appear to be lower-quality house show footage, while most are clips from produced PRIMETIMEs or pay-per-views. The screens begin to change from scene to scene in growing speed as the Bill Buckley voiceover seems to tell us that the CSWAs new company slogan is CSWA: A Legacy Never Ends. As he finishes, the screens now showing the CSWA logo and slogan, switch over to the new VERSUS logo, and the lights come up.)
JOHN SIMONS: Its a new season for the CSWA, and a brand new program. Welcome to VERSUS. Im John Simons, coming to you from Studio B at CS Towers. As the CSWA gears up for its annual PRIMETIME Pooljam Tour aboard the luxury Parsons Cruise Liner 2, we thought wed show you not only where we left off, but where were headed, starting with CSWA PRIMETIME in Miami coming up this weekend.
SIMONS: Featuring two title matches, PRIMETIME is guaranteed to bring the bling the gold, that is. The fighting champion who has put a challenge out to all-comers gets a chance to take on a wrestling stand-out and veteran who is making his CSWA debut. Christian Montiero challenges JA for the Greensboro Championship. JA found time during his Miami Beach vacation to share his thoughts on taking on the newcomer.
(CUTTO: Clip beginning with a voiceover)
"Don't you know that you are a shooting star?"
The scene is BEEEEEAUTIFUL Miami Beach, Eff-Ell-Aye, high noon. Lollipop is lounging out a fold-out chair on the beach, black sunglasses hiding her closed eyes, right arm resting on the arm, left arm holding a drink in a coconut shell with a frilly umbrella, all that in the background. JA, in the foreground, in a baggy bathing suit and a sunny-colored lucha mask, is just standing looking out at the PCL2 liner docked out, waiting for PRIMETIME in Miami to let out before letting all those folks on board.
JA: Well, given my travel schedule over the last year or so, all over this continent and in the one all the way across the Pond, I could use a vacation.
I know, I know what everyone of you watching this is thinking. Vacation? The See-Ess-Dub has been on vacation for the last six months. Well, yeah, but for those of you who don't know, my other places of employment keep me busy.
I may not wrestle like a Mexican anymore, but I damn sure work like one.
Vaguely offensive but good-natured slurs towards our Mexican friends aside, I was beginning to think that this business was going to run me down, that I was going to just be on tour forever and visit cities without ever having visited them, you know? I saw London, I saw France, I saw Lolli's underpants, several times on that last one, actually, but I never got a chance to just relax. Between having psychotic but ugly people trying to end your career and trying to deal with this company's Big Cheese moonlighting over with All-Natural Dan Ryan's company, it takes a toll on you.
So I guess that's why you can imagine that I'm really, really looking forward to this Cruise. I mean, sure, I did pretty much say that I was going to defend my Greensboro strap as much as I can without invoking the 24/7 rule.
JA turns around to find Roderick McRatrick, steel chair and referee in tow, sneaking up on him.
JA: Sorry Ratto, I said no 24/7 rule.
RMR: Damn you.
Roderick and the ref slink off.
JA: But I figure after this shindig in Miami and I get on the boat, I can just wrestle my matches. No traveling, no airplanes or car rides, no dragging luggage. No fast food for breakfast, fast food for lunch and a sensible dinner which may or may not be fast food diet. At least for two weeks. I can finally sit down and relax.
Lolli: Babe, what about when you like promised Ms. McGinnis you'd help find The Hacker as a way to make it up to her for calling her Ms. Melons?
JA: Oh yeah, that. Well I have something planned for that too. I call it outsourcing, although don't get any ideas, Cousin Sonjayholic.
JA just looks sidelong into the camera.
JA: I'm really getting myself into trouble with this segment, aren't I?
Anyway, I know I can't relax just yet though. I still have a title to defend right here, in the Penis-head of America. And I get to do it against See-Ess-Dub newcomer and all around young lion Christian Canyonero.
C-Mizzle, I'll cop to not knowing a whole hell of a lot about you. You do have an impressive resumé, a few titles here, a tournament there, a huge win over Cloud Strife's little brother in said tournament. I have to say, I'm a little impressed. Hell, I'm sure you impressed Big Stevie Fool because if you're getting a title shot in your first match here, I'm guessing you have to be pretty good.
But I'm gonna shoot straight with you for a second or two. Even though I've been the Greensboro Champion for six months, I still haven't defended it once. Not even in an Ee-Pee-Dubya dark show, or on one of those indie circuit tribute shows where they always seem to have those random fed title matches going on. If you think I'm going to let this title get away from me the first time I've defended it, then you're even sillier than Ratto over here still trying to sneak up on me to win the belt on a 24/7 stipulation that I didn't even name.
JA turns around.
JA: Right, Ratto?
Roderick quickly puts his steel chair behind his back and shoves his ref out of the picture.
JA turns back around.
JA: So, I'll have to apologize if my welcome to you into the See-Ess-Dub isn't as courteous as if I were Sherri Melton. But then again, on the plus side of things, at least I don't have twelve Ess-Tee-Dees that I'd be giving to you upon entry. Because a venereal disease/herpes/syphillis cocktail isn't a proper welcoming gift for a guy like you, Canyonero.
But if you think my Greensboro Championship is a proper welcoming gift, then, well, you'll be pretty disappointed.
JA looks out to the ocean and the cruise liner as Roderick sneaks back up behind him. Without turning a head, JA gives a no-look elbow shot right behind him, catching the steel chair and knocking it into Roderick's face, knocking him out backwards into the sand as the screen fades to the CSWA logo.
"And all the world will love you just as long, as long as you are... a shooting star."
SIMONS: JA with his, as usual, blunt commentary, regarding his first Greensboro Title defense coming up against Christian Montiero. Also aboard the PCL2, Cameron Cruise takes on another CSWA newcomer, "Sensational" Steven Shane. Cruise has had a low profile in the CSWA since his ouster from the UNIFIED World Championship against High Flyer several months ago. He has focused on his career in Empire Pro Wrestling, where he has tagged with Joey Melton in the past as "The Cameron Cruise Project." Given that Steven Shane joins the CSWA after a significant tenure in EPW, the two know each other well. Shane looks to make an immediate impact in his introduction to CSWA fans. Cruise has taken exception to being billed as Shanes "debut match." Both men made their plans for each other in Miami clear in a few minutes with the CSWA cameras.
(CUTTO: We enter into an unknown gym, where we see countless people working on their figures and trying to get back into shape after the long holiday season. New Years resolutions have kicked in full force and everyone in America is thinking of bettering themselves in some way. Being that America has an obesity rate that can be summarized by Marlon Brandos cholesterol, the gym has become the refuge for many at this time of year. As we wonder to the back of the gym, we see a door that simply reads "Sauna".
We continue to approach the door until it finally opens. We then see that none other than "Sensational" Steven Shane has exited the room in nothing but a towel. He notices the camera and gives a smile before he begins to speak.
Shane: Well, well, well
The "Sensational" Steven Shane tour continues as yet another wrestling federation has requested my services.
You know, if I had a nickel for every company that has asked me to bring them just the tiniest bit of promise in the past three months well, Id be richer than I already am.
Shanes smile widens.
Shane: But this time, something is different.
This time, I actually feel privileged to say that the granddaddy of them all has finally given a call to Steven Shanes phone.
As an up and coming wrestler, you dream of nothing more than one day debuting in the CSWA.
Well guess what
Here I am baby! Ready to bring the C-S-Dub the great dose of SENSATIONAL its been needing for some time now.
Shane gives a quick smile before stepping behind a screen to change his clothes. He still continues on.
Shane: Its things like this that make me proud of who I am.
That Im already a finely tuned athletic machine that doesnt need to make silly new years resolutions about trying to burn that extra weight off.
That I dont have to worry about expanding my horizons so that I may be able to get ahead in life.
Because I already have what Ive strived for through all those years of resolutions.
I finally have my shot here, and now, Im ready to set the roof on fire for all the fans of the granddaddy of the wrestling world.
So this years resolution brings forth the desire to showcase not just a few, but all of my talents and tear through the CSWA like no one has ever seen before.
I want to be remembered as the guy that came to the most established company in the business and turned it upside down.
Shane steps out from behind the curtain, wearing some red athletic shorts.
Shane: And thats why I quickly stepped to the plate and challenged one of the most established wrestlers on the circuit to a little tea party inside the ring.
Im familiar with Mr. Cruises work.
Hell, he was the reigning Intercontinental Champion when I came into Dan Ryans EPW.
Not to mention that his name is splattered all over the circuit about as much as Steven Shanes.
That is why I chose you, Cammy.
I chose to call out someone that everyone knows. Someone that everyone has seen the credibility in.
Someone that I can grab onto and beat the bejesus out of to send a message to anyone watching wrestling that Steven Shane is the one that you dont want to be facing when it comes to action inside that CSWA ring.
Dont get me wrong, Cammy I like your work. Thats why you were one of the top targets when I planned this onslaught.
But when it all comes right down to it, you will have to realize that Steven Shane is just that much better than you.
Dont take it as something personal, because its not. Im simply that much better than anyone thats out there.
And I just so happen to have to prove that to you and the rest of the world by defeating you right in the middle of the ring.
Shane gives a smile.
Shane: And that Cammy is a reality check that you damn, wait
That my friend, is something that you and everyone else will soon find to be simply SENSATIONAL.
Shanes smile widens again as the camera fades out.
(Fadein: Cameron Cruise in front of an CSWA backdrop.)
CRUISE: Well if it ain't Steven--no wait, the SENSATIONAL Steven Shane.
Loud and proud, here in the CSWA.
On a planned "ONSLAUGHT"?
Correct me if I'm wrong Steven, but if memory serves...don'tcha have to even have a CLUE on what you're getting into before you go on a 'Hero-Spree'??
If not...and if you don't mind...allow me, if you will...a couple things.
Don't start off a planned 'onslaught' by challenging someone ACCOMPLISHED as I am...and say you're better than me.
Promo...as accomplished and great as he is...took me on in another company I was in...and completely TRASHED everything involved, during promotions.
And the unexpected result??
Me, on the winning end...almost soundly, if I recall.
Have you ever performed in front of Kings and Queens and wrestled Alligators for an exhibition-like contest in the Everglades??
How about being well-paid by THE PLAYBOY...
And no, I'm not talking about Eddy Love....
Hugh Hefner in the Grotto at the Mansion, and then have the next booking be a Charity Event for kids in a PARK??
No, as much as a respected ring technician I'm sure you are...I don't believe you have.
Fact is, Steven...right up until that moment when I was told you challenged me for a DEBUT match...I was told you were quite the successful singles competitor.
But you see Shane...when I wrestle for Thomas...
As it's stated in my contract...
In my TEN YEARS in this company...I don't do Debut matches anymore.
Whether they're a wet-behind-the-ears-ROOKIE...or an over-the-hill-veteran, it's a no-go.
But seeing as YOUR debut is NOT as a Rookie or a Veteran...I suppose that categorizes you, right in the middle.
Congratulations, Shane. You've made the exception. Take note though Shane...
(Cruise takes off his trademark 'Anarchy'-styled shades as the camera comes in for a closeup.)
I said EXCEPTION, not EXCEPTIONAL.
You chose me as someone that has credibility in this business, so that you can beat the 'bejesus' outta me in your ring debut.
Back the "YOU'RE DREAMING" trolley up, just a second.
You haven't quite moved into OUR house, yet, which in this case, makes me the represented host for this little shindig. And NOBODY shows up the host of the party.
You wanna turn this company upside down by beating me in a setting that sets me as a favorite??
Then perhaps I should let you in on part of an old saying, with a paraphrasing twist:
Fortune favors the bull...and in the past two years, I've taken it by the HORNS.
In other words...it might not be pretty, or in your case...SENSATIONAL...but what I do inside that ring gets the job done.
(Cruise turns to exit, stage-right...but stops mid-stride.)
Oh...and not that this IS anything personal, Steven...'cause you pointing me out before Dan Ryan, Eddie Mayfied, or Miles or Powers, or ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER...couldn't be....
But try stealing my lines again...and I promise you Shane, and the fans, and the ENTIRE WORLD...
I'll show you what being SENSATIONAL is REALLY about.
That...my fellow Tag Team Specialist...is a Reality Check that you just...won't like.
SIMONS: Match number three of the night pits two former World Champions against each other. Its been well over ten years since these two first met. At the time, Mike Randalls was the EN World Champion and Timmy Windham was the up-and-coming "Muppet Kid" who made his name on being Mark Windhams younger brother, stalking Hornet, and having a host of unorthodox moves. Take a look at the end of their first match against each other.
(PRIMETIME in San Diego, December 19, 1994)
BUCKLEY: The EN Champ is in trouble, but he grabs the ropes, breaking the hold! Randalls is up first, and he hooks in a step-over-toe hold. Windham grabs the ropes, but Randalls follows up with a DDT! But apparently nailing his head into the mat doesn't face Timmy, because he just whipped Randalls into the ropes and nailed him with a flying dropkick! Randalls is laid out on the mat, and now Timmy goes for "The Clear," a move he learned while doing heart compressions with electroshock paddles on CSWA ref Pee Wee Troutman!
But Randalls throws the Muppet Kid off of him and across the ring. Randalls is furious, and he takes it out on Windham by hooking in a camel clutch! Timmy's just inches away from the ropes, but he can't reach them. Randalls lets up for a second and then follows up with a brainbuster!!! Windham's in trouble because there's the Implant DDT by Randalls! He covers! ONE......TWO........no, the Muppet Kid kicks out! Randalls doesn't let up though, there's a back suplex by the EN Champion. Randalls tries to strap on the step-over-toe hold, but Windham kicks him away!
Windham's up, and he catches Randalls with a flurry of heart kicks! Windham's got a second wind, and he whips Randalls into the ropes. There's a Fozzie Flip Flop! Now he hooks on the flying fish leglock! Randalls grabs the ropes, but that doesn't stop Windham, he's up and he's on the top rope! He comes off with a TR dropkick! Randalls got nailed! Windham lifts him up for a Torture rack! But as he turns around, Randalls' legs hit the ref and knock him down hard!!! Windham drops Randalls onto the mat and heads to his corner! Randalls is trying to climb to his feet, but he doesn't see Timmy on the top rope. And he's got the bungee cord!!!! Here he comes! MUPPET MANEUVER!!!!! He nailed Randalls hard! He throws the bungee cord outside the ring! And now he's trying to stir the ref. The ref's up! ONE........TWO........THREE!!!!!
TIMMY WINDHAM is the NEW ENTERPRISE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
This is a huge upset! Randalls is still down on the mat!! Windham has been awarded the belt! We'll be back!!!!
SIMONS: If youve been a CSWA fan for any length of time, then you know that neither of these men are known for their sense of restraint or for being the sanest kids on the block. Randalls has been suspended repeatedly over the years, with the most memorable incident being one of wrestlings most well-known attacks, as he put a wooden stake through the knee of GUNS. Timmy Windham has been a favorite punching bag of men like Mike Randalls and his "brother" Mark Windham over the years, but we now know that hes lived a lie for his entire career, playing as Mickey Benedicts "knight" in his lifetime feud with the Windham family.
The CSWA crew went to get comments from these two – and we found out that they had no dearth of things to say about each other. In fact, they had so much to say that we were able to get two interviews from both men. This match at PRIMETIME may not be for a championship, but it will certainly put the winner in a position to move up the rankings and possibly get in the hunt for the UNIFIED World Championship.
(FADEIN: THE WOLF MIKE RANDALLS sitting idly on a boat in Miami. The sun is setting as RANDALLS overlooks the water, expressionless...)
"Ten years gone, the world has moved on, but it is small enough for our paths to meet once more. It doesnt matter that were wrestlers, to deny the irony would be false, so Ill be honest to a man living nothing more than a lie...Timmy Windham, you will stand across the ring from me in Miami for a very specific reason."
RANDALLS eyes make contact with the camera, The Wolfs way of letting Timmy know this moment means he will be watching...
"Ten years gone from getting my initiation into the schemes and hiearchy of this organization. An organization Ive bled for from the heart, out of greed, lustingly in vengeance, desperate in honor and many times with them prodding my unstable...shall we say nature? Not that your part helped any, Muppet Kid. To yourself, maybe to the world...it was a laugh."
A small sliver of a smirk forms at The Wolfs lips...
"A bungee cord."
The smirk fades, the emerald eyes widening for just a moment...
"Believe me, that night I learned just how much of a game it was out there. And I do not deny that I played it like a violin, netting myself more than just a few subtle trophies over those years..."
"Of course...thats when a Unified Title and golden locks of hair meant a little more to men in this company. History may be lost on everyone, but not us Timmy. I know youre crazy, but I know I can talk to you crazy to crazy all the same. I lived a lie for seven years, youre living one longer. Its all good, I get it...Im supposed to believe youre so ****ing nuts you dont want to give it up..."
RANDALLS looks out across the bay, nodding in some sort of solemn understanding.
"...Ill make you ****ing crazy, Timmy. Ill do something so ****ing damaging to your soul that you wont sleep for thirteen months without my eyes haunting your dreams. Of course... CSWA fans want to see me ****ing tear your heart out, and if thats what Im wanted to do...if thats what you want to do...hell, doesnt sound like theres really a choice once were in that ring, does it?"
RANDALLS stops nodding, shrugs and looks at a couple fishermen bringing in a net...
"Not that I want to, because I do empathize with you. Living the lie, getting sucked into believing it yourself – its addicting. Mid-20's, Lonely at night white male, a product of the scum of an earlier generation, psychologically FUBAR'd. Abused somewhere, somehow...Benedict gave you a lie, and it took away the pain. I know it all Timmy...The Darkness, The Way – is that **** the truth or a lie? I asked, I learned, I bled. You..."
"Youve had a net underneath you all along, Timmy. Youre crazy for the sake of crazy, and thats all snazzy and catchy...but it doesnt hurt. Theres no anger or jealousy in your life within these walls, youre just helping Old Man Benedict play a game...you get paid to play a part. You almost got blown up for this, but the moneys good...the soul isnt touched...of course, youve played the pawn because you fear pain. And unfortunately, my fate here...is to make you hurt. People dont want me to save you, people dont want me to help you. The people have spoken Timmy Windham, and guess what? Apparently, its boring."
RANDALLS pauses, letting the words hang in the air...
"Its a shame really, part of me truly hoped I could find my redemption through less psychological methods. ...but if you do not care for your body, Timmy...I will have to tear through your mind...through your soul...quickly and as painfully as possible. And make no mistake, because of this...it is the reason that you are the first."
RANDALLS looks back at the camera...
"The public likes proof...The Unified Title, the game involved...ten years ago, a similar path started with yourself. In ten days..."
"You will not remember one quite like it. The light has gone, I shall give the people what they wish of me. Timmy Windham...only God can save you now."
(FADEIN: Timmy Windham on a dock, the PCL 2 visible in the background, gutting a fish with a butter knife.)
TIMMY WINDHAM: Im an actor Mike. If you pay me to play the part of the mental virgin, so be it. But, you cant rape the willing. Unzip into my skin, and wear me for days. Break me, until I havent a clue as to who I am. And Ill simply be back to the beginning.
Im an actor, Mike.
If you asked me my name, Id ask the same.
Why cry about sin, why muse about big business Mike when theres a new role to play?
Did you really think accepting a check to maim another man came attached with honor? When you stepped out of the desert, when you started running from the ghosts Mike you became a pawn, as much of a suit as Thomas or Merritt. When they asked how you felt about drugging a man you had to know this wasnt a baptism by anything but fire. Youve made millions, and with a needle look for irony. Are you ashamed? Was the blood shed for free? I cant believe it was. Youre a star, Mike. A caged animal a carnie unleashed on a Vegas show. Youve been rewarded in this life. If youre looking for satisfaction beyond, find a pre-teen and play the choking game.
Whats this battle mean?
Whats another life laid to ruins?
Im Timmy Windham because I have no other name.
We die tomorrow, and the world goes on. We cut our hair but theres no time. Just waste, the two of us rotting at the hands of the star dust that made us. **** writers Mike, thats the simplest kind of poetry you can find.
Whats remorse or morality when everything was pre-ordained?
Ive been sure of nothing in my life, but that I must be the Last Windham Standing.
Youre a reflection of me that stands in the way. Troys time is coming. Troys career, his apology to inflicting me with none of his charm, but all of his hate, is what I will get.
But, if I dont I win.
Haunt my dreams Mike.
Break my bones.
And when the sun fades, youll see irony and know no shame.
"The Last Windham Standing...all we need is Sam Elliot narrating and Im sure the man in charge of this company will declare you three boys visionaries for the next six millenia."
FADEIN: THE WOLF MIKE RANDALLS walking along the beach of Montego Bay barefoot, moonlight sparkling off the calm waters, the sky crystal clear. RANDALLS is wearing blue jeans, a beige cowboy hat and a half-unbuttoned short-sleeve flannel shirt.
"Of course, its the same man thats convinced he cant make two nickles off me anymore, its the same man youre now accusing of telling me to drug Hornet. Merritt asking me to drug Hornet? Thats about as likely as one of us paying to see a therapist. Naturally, theres really only one person that knows the truth...and thats myself."
RANDALLS stops for a moment to collect his thoughts, looking at his surroundings for a moment before making eye contact with the camera...
"You want to cross lines of reality and business? I dont care, Im not going to deny you the opportunity of twisting what you need to alleviate any concerns you might have about me. Listen, Kid...and I say listen because apparently the words definition is something youve lost from all those nights sleeping with stuffed animals containing highly acidic chemicals...and I say Kid cause Timmy Windham is just the stage."
"...When I say youre crazy for the sake of being crazy that means that I understand that youre acting. When I say that Im supposed to believe it...it means I get what youre doing, but it doesnt mean Ive got any faith whatsoever in whatever role youve been paid to play."
RANDALLS smirks...then continues walking...
"For instance, it's easy to be the Last Windham Standing when you avoid them. Troys out there in the open...Lord knows you couldve caught him faceplanting a 170 pound woman to prove a point, Im sure youre right up Miles alley...crazy and willing to sign a waiver..."
RANDALLS nods his head in what seems like a disappointed teacher at a gifted pupil...
"No, Kid...Troys time is coming only because Benedict tells you to say that. Troys apology isnt meant for your ears, its only allowing Benedict more time to use you. You can look ahead to Troy Windham and a paycheck, you can needle and prod Marks unstable synapses with Catherine bouncing on your lap...truth is Kid, I dont give a ****. The Windhams never hurt you...The Windhams never loved you. Ive watched the part for ten years, maybe nows not the time to play it. Maybe being crazy for the sake of being crazy isnt going to work with the crazy."
RANDALLS stops, flashes a smile...his emerald eyes slitting slightly...
"You have to play the part, Kid. You cant sit there worriedly asking why Mike Randalls requested this match. You cant show yourself lying awake at night wondering if your part has been offered to someone much more adept at fulfilling the means to the end..."
RANDALLS laughs quietly...
"Wear your flesh? Break your bones? Been there, done that. I played that part way better than you EVER will...no...this is about your heart. This is about a pain you cant mask with an act. This is about what Thomas wants...this is about what the people want...it's about redemption...it's about deception...and for one night it wont be about Timmy Windham..."
RANDALLS smirk fades...his eyes widen...
"Its all about you. Whoever you are, however you hurt, wherever you hide...I will be there...making you feel something horrifying, but perhaps inspirational. I will let those eyes that wish to look through the oppressors amongst agony, see your flesh only quiver...while your heart rips...while your ego crumbles. Its your choice whether you hold onto the pain...for yourself...or for youve pretended to be. Im only deliverance kid, youre just the Hunted. You can find the courage to become what youve dreamed...whether I haunt your dreams or not...it's only a metaphor. Just dont be naive enough to believe for one moment that I cared about yours or anyone else's last name."
"Your pain is what people want...in a few days I shall give it to them."
"May God be with you in this time of darkness, only his light can show you The Way."
(FADEIN: Timmy Windham inside HORNET'S Greensboro home's media room. He reclines in a leather chair, and pauses an episode of "Seinfeld" Season 5.)
TIMMY WINDHAM: Who better to play the part of a lamb than I, Mike?
You decry the part I was destined, the part I was created by the arrogance of man to play, and turn deaf to my last name. Miami wants my pain. My blood. The Romans gather in today's social setting to see Timmy Windham stripped of the truths he knows, and shamed.
I have been programmed by Benedict.
I have been raised.
But, what scares you more than anything Mike, is over ten years later the little Christian Soldier hired to play the harp of violence is still here. At your worst, when the hungry Wolf wasn't robbed of purpose, I defied you Mike. I took the trappings that tamed you, and became the face of this broken company.
It's a face with no name.
I wasn't released into the wild, into the crosshairs of the Randalls, Hornet, and Windham war to be the star of the show. Timmy Windham was wiped across the canvas of this company as men pleased....and the pen was often dipped in the blood off my forehead, or brother's mistakes.
We're learning the same lesson, Mike.
It's never been about us has it?
We're puppets. We're actors, and the one who walks from Miami is the brave soul who eyes his reflection in the mirror and cops to the company line best.
You don't scare me.
I've been inside the Lair, Mike, and I've come home everytime in hopes of better understanding Benedict's plan.
Vengeance is timing. Troy will fall. I will be the Last Windham Standing. I will be the one telling your children over a great fire, that there was a time when the CSWA suffered fools, and stood for ideas made from less than desperation and emotional pain.
I am Timmy Windham.
Remember the name.
SIMONS: "Last Windham Standing?" We all saw Mark Windham savagely attack UNIFIED Champion Troy Windham in the aftermath of ANNIVERSARY and take the UNIFIED Title away with him. Troy was hospitalized after the show, and from all accounts, has not been seen since – the status of his recovery, and possibly even in the CSWA, is in doubt. If Mike Randalls, as he has been prone to do, snaps on Timmy, that leaves one Windham by default Mark. It also may mean that the top champion in the company becomes the US Champion, and the former-best-friend-turned-enemy of the man who has possession of the belt, Hornet.
The US Champion competes in the second championship match and the MAIN EVENT of the night in Miami, taking on former Greensboro Champion and the winner of the "Champions Challenge," Kin Hiroshi. Heres a look back at how both men fared at ANNIVERSARY.
(CUTTO: CSWA ANNIVERSARY 2006: CSWA17, "Champion's Challenge Match: Steve Radder vs. Kin Hiroshi)
BB: This could be it! ONE! TWO! THREE! Can you believe it! Kin Hiroshi has just defeated Steve Radder, pinning him out of nowhere, and has become the number one contender to the United States Title!
SB: Its quiet too quiet.
BB: The fans are in shock! They dont know what to do its like they know this isnt over. You can cut the tension
SB: Like a knife through warm butter about to go onto a muffin!
(At that moment Powers slides in with a steel chair and begins checking on Radder.)
SB: Powers is actually checking on Radder! What has the world come to? Are drinks free tonight or something?
BB: Hiroshi is taking exception to this because hes just shoved Powers from behind!
SB: Very gutsy for the Muffin Man.
(Powers, shocked, turns and looks at Hiroshi before taking a swing at him with the steel chair, but misses because Hiroshi stepped out of the way. After the wild swing, Powers sets the chair aside, turning back to Hiroshi in the ring, where Radder is still on the mat.)
BB: Now Powers is stalking Hiroshi! What is Powers thinking?
SB: Powers? Thinking? Isn't that a oxymoron?
(Radder slowly begins to make his way up and can barely believe what his eyes are telling him; that Powers is after Hiroshi.)
BB: Radder is finally making it up to his feet and I think he is even shocked to see the events going on!
SB: Can someone check in the back and see if any cases of beer were stolen from the concession stand? Anyone? This is important!
(As Radder makes his way closer, the shock of seeing his former friend Kevin Powers defending him turns into horror as Powers turns around and waffles Radder with a haymaker to the jaw.)
SB: I ... KNEW IT! Pay up Buckley!
BB: Pay up? We never bet! And look at Powers! He's not letting up on Radder now!
SB: Some things ... never change.
Powers raises back and cracks Radder on the head again while he's on the canvas. Powers then moves towards Hiroshi, raises his hand and Hiroshi jumps up and slaps it.)
BB: Hiroshi just gave a high five to Powers! This was a set up all along!
SB: Seriously. You didn't see this coming?
BB: What is Powers doing now? Hes just handed that steel chair to Hiroshi and he's picking up Radder! Wait! He's got Radder hooked and ... he wouldn't dare!
SB: This is Powers we're talking about, Buckley, the same person who put a former CSWA owner through the canvas. I'm pretty sure he would dare!
BB: He's got Radder up ... KISS THE CANVAS!!! KISS THE CANVAS!!! Powers just hit his slingshot powerbomb and planted Radder right in the center of the ring!!!
SB: Seven months he was away, but today Powers makes Radder pay for what happened at Primetime 500!
BB: This is incredible! Powers and Hiroshi are celebrating together in the ring to a huge chorus of boos from the fans, bowing sarcastically with their hands linked together! Steve Radder is still out in the middle of the ring, stirring a little as this duo celebrate on each side of the ring.
SB: I havent heard booing this loud since the Depends man didnt show up at the old folks home!
BB: How would you kn I dont want to know. Steve Radder is finally up to his knees. Just roll out of the ring, Steve, dont take any more of this
SB: We know he wont! Its Radder! The Coolest of the Mr. Showtimes!
BB: Radder shakes his head, and stumbles over to Powers, whom he shoves in the back! Powers quickly spins and both men have each other by the collar, one fist cocked at the sides of their heads, Radder looking up at the taller Powers.
SB: As my twenty-something date last night said, THIS IS INTENSE!
BB: I cant believe anyway, these two men are just glaring at each other while Hiroshi is watching smugly to the side. Finally Powers chuckles, and shoves Radder by the oh my his shirt has just ripped away completely
SB: WHAT THE ****!!!
(An audible gasp from the fans.)
BB: STEVE RADDER THAT SCAR ITS ITS HORRIBLE.
(Radder looks down and notices his shirt is gone. His eyes flare wide, and he spins back to Powers.)
BB: RADDER JUST CLOCKED POWERS IN THE JAW! WHAT A SHOT! POWERS STUMBLES BACKWARD, THAT SCAR MY GOD! RADDER SPINS ON HIROSHI AND CLOCKS HIM, TOO! HIROSHI SLUMPS TO THE CANVAS IN SHOCK!
SB: WHAT THE ****!!!
BB: Radder has grabbed the tatters of his shirt and wrapped it around his left arm. Sammy, that scar, it was gruesome, its about half an inch thick and it twists all the way around ..
SB: WHAT THE ****!!!
BB: All the way around his left arm, straight to the shoulder and even past, I think! It even looked like a shattered piece of glass over his elbow Ive never not even Randalls
SB: WHAT THE
BB: Enough, Sammy! Steve Radder has hurriedly made his way backstage with that shirt around his left arm, the fans absolutely quiet, I I dont know what to say
BB: Sammy Benson is turning green beside me and is speechless this is incredible fans, I dont know what to say
BB: I cant believe thats the last well see of Eli Flair as an active competitor in the CSWA. The mans been a mainstay in the wrestling world for a decade. And hes been one of the few truly decent real people Ive ever had the pleasure of dealing with.
SB: Thats the past, Buckley. Its time to move on.
BB: Like I said one of the few truly decent real people. Hornets now headed back down the aisleway. He looks like he had a ball, truly enjoying watching Eli get the spotlight one last time.
SB: I think hes just glad hes gone.
BB: The fans are applauding, thankful of Hornets part in this Legends match. Up next folks, weve got the Main Event of the night. The culmination of one of the truly stacked tournaments, talent-wise, that weve ever seen in the wrestling world. From sixteen truly great wrestlers, now down to two.
(CSWAvision springs to life, as a cameraman gets a shaky picture. Its odd as CSWAvision is actually showing itself, at least partially, until the camera focuses in on a figure ON TOP of the huge video wall and scaffolding. Underneath Hornet is stepping up onto the large stage outside the entryway.)
SB: What the h .
(An enormous BOOM goes off as pyro flames erupt on either side of the stage. The shockwave and shock, knocks Hornet off his feet momentarily but just long enough.)
(The camera focuses in Just as we realize the man on top of CSWAvision is masked he dives and all hell breaks loose.)
BB: OH MY DEAR LORD! WHAT IN THE WORLD!?
SB: He didnt just
(A cameraman has run up the rampway and focused in on a tangle of arms and legs. Underneath, Hornet appears to be unconscious, and may be having trouble breathing. On top, Vacant doesnt seem much better, although its hard to tell through the mask.)
BB: He just jumped off of the top of the video wall with a shooting star splash and CRUSHED Hornet! We need paramedics out here NOW! Both of these men may be seriously hurt.
SB: That may be the greatest thing Ive ever seen especially if Bugbrain has a collapsed lung or two.
BB: Shut up Sammy. It looks like Vacant is starting to move slightly, but still no sign of movement from Hornet.
(A replay of the events is shown on CSWAvision. It drops into slow-motion as Vacant jumps off the huge screen and does a full flip and a quarter before slamming down onto Hornets head, chest and stomach. Vacants body bounces off of Hornets before landing to rest, half-on and half-off, damage done.)
BB: Can we get some DAMN paramedics!?
(Vacant rolls fully off Hornet, slowing rolling to one side and trying to pull himself to his feet. He falls down to one knee, one hand grabbing his stomach.)
SB: Who is this guy?
BB: It looks like were about to find out. If he doesnt collapse first.
(As the paramedics rush out, one tries to check Vacant, but the masked man pushes the medic away as he gets to his feet, still obviously stunned and recovering from the huge leap. Even so, he starts undoing the back of his mask. As the paramedics start to put Hornet on a backboard, Vacant pulls his mask off and throws it down on top of Hornet.)
SB: Wait a second – Ive seen him somewhere.
(CUEUP: "Money, Power, Respect" by Lil Kim, the Lox and DMX begins to play. A little late, but apparently the production crew has figured out who it is as well.)
BB: Thats .thats RUBEN ROSS. What is HE doing here?
SB: Apparently bringing down the CSWA . By first bringing down the Franchise! If Hornet had just stayed outta the way, maybe he wouldve been happy with the Unified Title.
(Ross looks down at Hornet one final time, then limps through the entryway.)
BB: "The Black Plague" has just infected the CSWA. And Hornets the first victim. Folks, were going to cut away while the paramedics do their work.
The Miami heat was stiffling even in the dead of winter. Locals were in jeans and t-shirts, but tourists, like Kin Hiroshi, were running around shirtless in shorts. Living in Seattle definitely had it's disadvantages: constant rain, gloom, cool weather. Then again, he could travel back and forth from Tokyo, or hop a plane to wherever CSWA told him to go. Sure, he liked being in Miami, but he still needed to get used to the warm, muggy air.
Downing a snow cone, Hiroshi ducks into a warehouse that was serving as a make-shift training facility. In a corner of the building a camera was set up for interview purposes. Hiroshi made his way over to the set, pulled on a "Do You Know The Muffin Man" t-shirt, and slumped onto a stool.
"I always have loved the brains up in Greensboro. See, while I've been slaving away around the world, they still find time to give me a YOU-ESS title shot, and it's a shot I'm not going to complain about.
"Hell, I worked my ass off to get here. I went through Radder AND Logic to get to the man who's been sitting on the title belt for too long. Radder went down faster than a hooker in Vegas thanks to a mutual 'friend' of ours, Kevin Powers.
"And Good God! it was amazing to land in Miami, and read my name in lights once again. Hell, how many times do you hear 'Kin Hiroshi' and 'championship' in the same sentence anymore? I believe the last time was right here in CSWA when I captured the Greensboro title.
"I just have one man to get through now. One man stands in the way of The Muffin Man grabbing a strap for his waist:
"Why did it have to be Hornet?
"I shouldn't be suprised. Should I? After all, look Kin Hiroshi's opponents up in the annals of wrestling and you'd see the following names: Joey Melton, Evan Aho, Steve Radder, Eddy Love, and Dan Ryan.
"You know, these guys, at one time, or another, have been the UNIFIED World Heavyweight Champion. Kin Hiroshi? A few TV titles, a few Cruiserweight accolades, and a single Greensboro strap.
"I've beaten Love, Radder, Aho AND Melton. I 'supposedly' poisoned Dan Ryan, almost killing him.
"And now? Now I'm going to beat Hornet.
"Just another man who's a mammoth to this industry. Another man who thinks that Kin Hiroshi is a bug...a blemish wherever he goes. After all, I've got a great track record with my 'home' company: EWI? GXW? GWE? Seems to me that I'm less of a bug, and more of curse.
"Maybe that's why I don't have gold around my waist right now. Maybe that's why I'm denied at every opportunity presented. Maybe that's why Kin Hiroshi is laughed at and mocked backstage.
"No more. Once I beat Hornet, the Red Sox and Kin Hiroshi are going to have common ground.
"Hornet, you're only as good as the arsenal you bring to the table with you. Baby, I've got tricks that you don't even know about. Sure, the Miami heat may be too warm for me to wear a shirt, but rest assured that I'm hiding things in my sleeves.
"Do you know the Muffin Man? I don't think so, and after Primetime, the entire wrestling industry is going to have to rethink what they believe about me.
"Ball is in your court now, champ...
...and I'm waiting..."
(FADE TO BLACK)
(HORNET is sitting in the ubiquitous media room that weve seen over the years. There appears to have been an upgrade – plasma is in evidence. Hornets legs are propped up on the leather couch as he watches his latest purchase, Seasons 4-6 of "Seinfeld." As he watches the red light come on the camera, he pauses the main TV and activates the six around it, which all play the same line from Kin Hiroshi.")
KIN: "Why did it have to be Hornet?"
Is that like asking "Why me?" Kin? It seems to me thats what youve been doing for the last two years. Since March 28, 2004 in fact. Right, Kin? Like a lot of people, youd like to believe that I walk around the CSWA with my head in the sand; that somehow because of my paycheck Im oblivious to what goes on.
Oh, and before I forget thanks for the nice basket of muffins, Kin. Unfortunately, Im just not a big fan of rum-raisin. But its the thought that counts.
I dont believe that youre a bug, Kin. I believe youre misguided. I believe that you gave up on yourself for a while. I believe that you got so jaded that you believed basing your offense in a title match on a thumb-lock would be cute that you thought youd use the Greensboro Title as a stepping stone. And when Jean Rabesque beat you, I believe you got scared.
Not to be your therapist, Kin, but its alright to be scared. Sometimes fear is an early warning sign. And then sometimes we push through it and go on anyway. I did that quite a bit – pushing through the fear, pushing through the real emotion and dulling it with whatever was handy, whatever could take the edge off, whatever could make reality seem less pressing, less important. You know what Im talking about, Kin? Yeah, I thought so or at least thats what I hear. Remember no head in the sand here.
And so now the Muffin Man has a partner-in-crime in Americas Favorite Old Lush. Kevin Powers the man whos used every friendship he ever had to either get ahead and to make sure he wasnt the one left behind. From Love to Radder to Miso to Apocalypse. And now hes got his good friend Kin Hiroshi on the hook. How long until he decides to throw you back and go for something bigger?
Lets be honest, Kin. I should be stepping into the ring against Steve Radder on that ship. Theres a man that made a comeback against all the odds, without the benefit of "Good God" or any of his old friends. He stepped in the ring and let his undersized talent do the talking for him. Until he ran into the Hiroshi-Powers Connection or is this version the Power of Muffins instead of the Powers of Love?
I dont doubt youve got some tricks up your sleeve, Kin. But Ive been doing a little study here, Kin. And according to my media sources – nobody likes muffin stumps, they love the tops. So that makes my game plan pretty clear, doesnt it? It sounds like a job for the Scorpion Deathlock. I know its been awhile, but I dont think Im too rusty to remember how to apply it. Its like the facepaint once you learn, you never forget. Pick up the legs. Right leg stepover to the outside. Tuck and wrap your legs. Cinch and pull. Step over with the left leg as you turn over. Squat. Pull as hard as I can.
If you thought Rabesques Figure 4 was something, then youll know just what to do when I start pulling. Slap that mat as hard as you can, Kin, and you might get another chance to challenge for the US Title. Otherwise well, like I said, Im a little rusty I might get a little excited. And Id hate to hear that telltale "pop," as Im sure you would.
I respect you as a wrestler, Kin. Its your character I question. Its whether youre man enough to come into this ready and in the right mind to do this on your own. Otherwise, bring Powers and however many sleeves you need for those tricks. For now, I've gotta get back to studying some tape.
(Fadeout as "Seinfeld" begins playing again on the main screen.)
SIMONS: So in case you haven't been paying attention, it's a packed-show as CSWA PRIMETIME in Miami kicks off the PRIMETIME POOLJAM Tour aboard the Parsons' Cruise Liner 2.
We hope to be able to update you on the condition and status of UNIFIED Champion Troy Windham, as well as the man who has the title in his possession, Mark Windham.
US Champion Hornet defends against Kin Hiroshi, while Greensboro Champ JA takes on CSWA newcomer Christian Montiero.
Cameron Cruise and Steven Shane bring their "sensational" feud to the CSWA, while Mike Randalls and Timmy Windham bring old bad blood to the surface.
I hope you'll all join us right back here on U-62 for PRIMETIME in Miami, as well as for our next edition of VERSUS, where we'll be bringing you more from the CSWA wrestlers themselves, as well as behind-the-scenes news and rumors. I'm John Simons, and for all of us here in the studio, thanks for joining us. See you next time.
Results compiled and archived with Backstage 3.